On Communication & the Parent Meeting

As I mentioned yesterday, we have started Occupational Therapy again! Today marks the end of our second week with Daniel back in OT. We opted to go for the (OT recommended) intensive program, which consists of four one-hour sessions per week for five weeks, then a two week break followed by ten more sessions. It is definitely intense. It's also a very welcome change to our (fairly isolating and unsocial) routine of staying home all day every day trying to keep Daniel fairly regulated.

Daniel took a little while to warm up to Lisa the OT, who is a very warm and caring (as well as being incredibly skilled and knowledgeable) addition to our days. However, after two weeks, he is now consistently displaying his sensory behaviors during therapy, and he's starting to show some changes at home. Not all of them are positive changes (like his new-found fear of descending from heights) but they nonetheless indicate movement (hopefully in a positive direction) so I'll take it.

Dear Daniel, (Fourteen Months)

Hi, love. This month I decided to write your update letter mostly in photographs. (It'll save me thousands of words, don't you know?) It's still so incredibly rewarding (while also being very challenging) to be your parent, and I'm soaking up every minute of it.

You communicate more and more every day, which is so much fun! You say "Eddie" very clearly now, and often meld it with "Momma" when you're being playful, so it becomes "Mommaeddie." You say, "Bop-bop-bop" when you want food. I now know that you think of breastmilk as food, because you use your sign for nurse while also saying "bop-bop" when you want milk. You made up a sign for diaper/potty/need-to-go-right-now! (it's like the ASL sign for milk, only using both hands simultaneously) which you use very accurately. You've started signing diaper when you need to go poop, which is making EC easier to practice.

You climb everything, all the time. I'm not phased at all by this kind of thing anymore:

You even stand here and rock yourself back and forth.
(I can't watch.)

Or this:

You often stand on the coffee table and play with
the light switch...while poking the TV with your fork.

You had your first (minor) head injury, when you tried climbing from the nursing chair in the bedroom to my desk. I caught you upside-down by the ankle before you met the floor.

It swelled and bruised, but you recovered very quickly.

In fact, you recovered so quickly that when I was texting Papa the above photo, you helped yourself to my face soap (though I believe I retrieved most of it from your mouth):

[This is not a twinkie.]

You've started banging on your bedroom door when you wake up from your nap (instead of crying), which I think its pretty hilarious. It's also extremely appropriate, given your personality. I dig your directness—you get that from me.

When you want a kiss, you purse your lips together and go "mmmmm" while leaning toward Papa or me. I love it! You really enjoy cuddling with and smooching your baby (and you always do it like this):

Your love is all-encompassing.

You have a new tooth, a molar on your top left. That brings the total to nine teeth!

You're starting to take more than one step at a time, which is fun. I guess the extra ball time is working to help you be more confident when standing upright! (This is from Thursday):



I'm looking forward to all the new adventures that your increasing mobility will surely bring!

That's all for now, Little One. Keep on being you.

Love,
Momma

Part-Time EC: Why Bother?!

Welcome to the First Annual Freedom of Cloth Carnival

This post was written for inclusion in the Freedom of Cloth Carnival hosted at Natural Parents Network by Melissa of The New Mommy Files and Shannon of The Artful Mama. This year’s carnival will run from Sunday, July 3rd through Saturday, July 9th. Participants are sharing everything they know and love about cloth diapering, including how cloth has inspired them.

---

Turns out, I've never taken a photo of my son
on the potty. I guess I was too busy
assisting him to snap one! (Photo by tornatore.)

My partner and I practice part-time elimination communication (EC) with our son. Sometimes when I say that, I feel kind of like a fraud because we're not at all diligent about it like lots of other families I know. But the truth is, many families practice part-time EC, and most families who do EC all the time are still using cloth diapers as back-up and/or when they're out of the house.

Some background information about EC, if you're unfamiliar:

Elimination Communication is widely practiced around the world, particularly in developing countries where diapering would be impractical (or is prohibitively expensive). Caregivers can leave their babies diaper-less and/or naked on the bottom (or in some cases, they're dressed in special clothing with a split in the crotch for easy elimination). The caregiver learns the baby's cues for when she needs to pee or poop, and then they take the baby to an appropriate place (a toilet, a sink, a baby potty, a bowl, outdoors, etc.) to do their business. Caregivers often have a signal that they give the baby when it's time to go: a sound or word, a sign or gesture, a specific way of touching the baby, or a combination of these. EC can be practiced from birth, or can be started any time later. (I started EC with Daniel when he was about ten weeks old.)

EC emphasizes communication between the caregiver and the child. It uses timing (after naps and mealtimes are good times to try the potty), cues (from the baby) and signals (from the caregiver), and caregiver intuition facilitate the process. Each baby is different in how she communicates her elimination needs, so this practice involves patience and flexibility on the part of the caregiver. EC is sometimes called "natural infant hygiene" or "infant potty training," though it is not potty training in the traditional sense. There are not rewards (for "catches") or punishments (for "misses") it is simply a way to attend to your child's elimination needs that involves paying attention and subsequently responding to your baby's cues and natural daily rhythms.

I read some about EC before I was even pregnant, and it intrigued me that in developing countries, babies are carried around diaper-less, and yet, their mothers aren't covered in baby excrement. (Some brief examples of EC can be seen in the movie Babies, where both the baby from Namibia and the baby from Mongolia are shown being toileted by different methods by their caregivers.) During my reading, I was fascinated by the assertion that in the United States (and other industrialized, diaper-using countries) we essentially teach our babies to pee and poop in diapers, and then have to un-teach them to do that when they're older. Diapering is (understandably) considered a barbaric and backwards practice by people of cultures who are accustomed to seeing and practicing EC all the time.

Ten-week-old Phoebe, peeing on the potty
for the first time! (Photo courtesy of ekwetzel.)

Baby humans—like baby animals of other species—have an instinct to not want to soil themselves or their nest. If you've ever seen a baby bird back up over the edge of the nest to poop, you've witnessed this instinct. Similarly, dogs won't poop in the place where they sleep, instead they'll designate a specific area for each, and they won't mix the two. Babies also don't like to be sitting in their own waste in a wet or dirty diaper (they like to be clean)! This is why (and I'm sure anyone who has cared for a baby has experienced this) a little one will often wait for a clean diaper to pee or poop again. You're thinking, I just changed your diaper, and you have to go again?! But the baby has actually held it until the clean diaper was available to them! I've experienced this instinct in my son many times. Most recently, I witnessed him squat to empty his bladder before climbing into a kiddy pool in my in-laws' back yard. He often will go to the bathroom right before or right after a bath, too. I think it's so cool to know that kids this young are so naturally aware of their bodily functions and totally able to hold it until they're in an appropriate place.

So even after all that information, why the heck would I bother taking my baby to the potty (even some of the time) when he'll just go in his diaper anyway?

Seven Reasons to EC (Even Part-Time!)

1. It's free! It doesn't cost a penny more than using the toilet regularly (and it can cost even less if you frequently potty your baby outside).
2. It actually saves both time and money: every catch means one less diaper to change now and then wash later. The fewer diapers we use in a week, the less frequently I have to wash, and less washing cuts down on the overall (time and money) cost of diapering.
3. It's the ultimate in environmentally friendly choices: no matter how you choose to diaper the rest of the time (cloth, disposables, hybrids, etc.) fewer soiled diapers means less impact on the environment.
4. Less time spent in a soiled diaper and more time spent with skin open to air means less diaper rash (and other diaper-related issues).
5. It's fun! No, really. The first time you have a successful catch, it's pretty exciting. You just communicated with your baby! (Plus, I'm a sucker for a good experiment, and seeing EC work is fascinating.)
6. It's an intimate bond with your child. Any time you're helping someone with their toileting needs, you're attending to a very private part of their life. The communication aspect of EC is really rewarding and connective. 
7. It's what I would want someone to do for me if I was unable to verbally communicate my elimination needs. That's what it comes down to for me: it feels like the most respectful way to help my kiddo with his toileting needs until he's able to do it without help.

Those are just a few reasons I practice EC with Daniel. For us, it's mostly gotten easier over time, as he learns to communicate his needs more clearly. I potty him mainly based on timing (after naps, after meals) though I do watch him closely for signals when he is about to poop, and I cue him to go using a sound. I also use ASL signs for "toilet," "poop," and "pee," even when I'm just changing his diaper. Ever since Daniel started making the cue sounds back to me, I find it particularly entertaining. He seems to enjoy the whole EC experience, even when he doesn't have to go.

How about you? What do you think about elimination communication? Have you ever tried it? Do you think I'm a little too far out there now? I'd love to hear your thoughts!

---

Visit Natural Parents Network for the most up-to-date news on the Freedom of Cloth Carnival!   Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants on the following themes. Articles will go live on the scheduled theme day:

• Sunday, July 3rd, 2011: Cloth Related Recipes — Writers share their best cloth-related recipes and tutorials.
• Monday, July 4th, 2011: Choosing Your Cloth Style — Today’s posts discuss parents' individual journeys to finding the cloth diapering "style" that best suits their families.
• Tuesday, July 5th, 2011: Cloth Diapering Must Haves — Parents talk about the most important items in their diapering “stash” and why they love them.
• Wednesday, July 6th, 2011: Wordless Wednesday, Inspired by Cloth — We asked parents to share their favorite cloth-related photo with us and turned them into a fluffy Wordless Wednesday photo montage on Natural Parents Network. Link up your own Wordless Wednesday post there!
• Thursday, July 7th, 2011: Cloth Through the Stages: From Infancy to Potty Independence — Today’s participants explain how cloth diapering has served their families throughout one or more stages of their children’s lives.
• Friday, July 8th, 2011: Cloth Troubleshooting and Laundry Day — Seasoned cloth diapering parents share their best tips and tricks for handling common cloth problems and tackling the diaper laundry.
• Saturday, July 9th, 2011: Inspired by Cloth — For today’s theme, we’ve asked writers to explore the ways cloth diapering has inspired them to become "greener" overall.

Cloth Diapering Papa

Jaymz and Daniel

I had the idea to get a Dad's view of cloth diapering (CD), since I often hear other mothers say that they would like to cloth diaper, except their husbands wouldn't go for it. I am always surprised to hear that their partner's hang-ups about cloth diapering is the deciding factor.

In my family, we believe very much in equally shared parenting. Among other things, that means that my husband and I don't argue over who will help Daniel with his elimination needs. Whoever is holding him or is generally more available when he needs to go to the potty or have his diaper changed is the one who does it. Similarly, our decision to cloth diaper was reached mutually. We are both aware of our collective carbon footprint, and we try to do everything we can to lessen our impact on the environment. (We also wanted to save some money!)

Still, I was curious what Jaymz would say about cloth diapers without me interjecting things (I really can't help myself). The following interview was the result of my curiosity. And since it's my blog, I get to interject after the fact (my comments/additional information will look like this):

Why do you cloth diaper?
Environmental impact, I think is the main reason. I guess long-term price factors into the decision, too. And of course, it's an easy decision because my wife wants to do it.

What have you thought about cloth diapering/how have you found it to be (easy, hard, gross, etc.)?
It's been much easier than I had anticipated. I'm surprised that it's just as easy as using a disposable diaper. It's just different.

What was your biggest learning moment/curve when it came to cloth diapering?
Obviously the poop is harder, there are a few more steps involved in dealing with poop than with disposables, because we spray diapers down (With Biokleen Bac Out; we don't have a diaper sprayer.) and ever since solid foods, we've been wiping or rinsing the poop off the diapers. The rest of it was easy to learn. None of it is difficult. You just have to do it once and you'll know how.

What's your favorite diaper and why?
My favorite diaper is the light purple (Bubble) color Bumgenius 4.0 with snaps, because it's just about the easiest diaper I've ever used...and it's pretty.

Sam and Mikko

Why do you like pocket diapers?
That's a great question, because I really wanted to like all-in-one (AIO) diapers the best. The draw of the AIO diaper is that there's no work: you put it on, you take it off, you wash it, you dry it, repeat. The problem with the AIO diaper are the washing and drying phases. The other part is awesome, but the washing and drying phase suck. With the washing phase: the material that's used in the AIO (the inside) has to be made out of absorbent cloth material, but it stains more easily. (We used a few Bumgenius Organic Elemental AIOs for a while, which we found do stain very easily—much more so than synthetic fabrics—even with exclusively breastfed poop.) The even bigger problem is the drying phase—they take forever to dry. The whole point of a diaper is to absorb and retain liquid, so if there's no way for you to dismantle the diaper partially in an effort to clean it, then the diaper is going to keep doing its job, and absorb and retain water, which makes it impossible to dry.

So, back to your question, I really wanted to like AIOs because they're easy. The pocket diaper is the next best thing to the ease of an AIO because you put it on, you take it off, you take out the insert, and then you're done. I like the AIO-type diapers over prefolds and covers, but I like pocket diapers best of any of the modern cloth diaper options.


Why do you like snaps more than aplix (velcro) closures?
Initially, I thought that snaps would be more of a pain to use because you have to snap four snaps on each diaper, but once you learn how to snap the snaps efficiently, it's not a pain. It doesn't become a hurdle; it's just second nature. Like buttoning a button on your shirt, it becomes easy. So, after that point (when it becomes easy) it's less of a hassle to use the snaps because you don't have to remember to affix laundry tabs (like you have to on the velcro diapers when you put the diapers in the laundry). Also, it's my assumption that the snaps are going to last a much longer time than the velcro diapers, so it becomes more of a long-lasting investment.

Back to prefolds and covers for a moment: Did you find them difficult to use? What were the pros and cons?
I didn't hate prefolds and covers, and I think prefolds and covers were the right choice for us for when our baby was a newborn. Because, A. you really can't beat a diaper service (we used a diaper service for the first three months of Daniel's life), that was key for us with our cloth diapering in the beginning. Even if you're looking at disposable diapers versus a diaper service, the diaper service wins because it's the same price as buying disposables, and the difference in environmental impact is drastic. And, B. We went through a lot of diapers when he was a newborn, and I think that would be impractical to wash so many pocket diapers, especially for first-time parents who don't have an established diaper routine. ...Even prefolds and covers were much easier than I had anticipated!

What do you wish you had known before beginning cloth diapering?
I wish I would've known that pocket diapers are worth the price. I was hesitant to spend money on such an expensive diaper that's just going to get pooped on, but having done prefolds with covers and then switching to pockets exclusively, the difference in ease of use and ease of clean-up is worth the price.

Harry and Shirley

What's your favorite CD accessory?
Bac Out. Bac Out is fucking amazing. Is that an accessory? I wish that I had known about Bac Out years and years ago. I use that stuff to clean everything now. It actually cleans things, first of all, and it smells good. Show me a cleaner that actually works and also smells good, you know? Bonus, it's not harsh on the environment. (Bac Out really is amazing. If you haven't tried it, you really should, even if you don't cloth diaper. It's great for lots of household cleaning needs, like cleaning up after pets, and it smells like limes!)

What's your favorite thing about CDing?
I'm really glad that I don't have to go to the grocery store and buy a pack of Huggies every week. It feels really wrong to me, like when we had that coupon for cheap Huggies, I felt dirty buying them, like, "What am I doing to our planet by buying these diapers?" It just felt wrong. My favorite thing about cloth diapering is twofold: the convenience and also saving the environment.

What's your least favorite thing?
Probably the smell. With disposable diapers, you can wrap them up and throw them away and you don't have to smell them ever again. (I actually think disposables are stinkier, because the trash doesn't get emptied as often as cloth diapers get washed.) With cloth diapers, you put them in the pail, and when you open the pail, you smell it, then when you throw the pail in the washer and you smell them a lot when you do that part. That's my least favorite thing...which is why I'm grateful that my wife does most of the diaper laundry! (I don't really mind the smell; I've smelled worse things than a little ammonia and baby poop.)

What advice would you give to another dad who was reluctant to CD?
I would tell that person to just make a small initial investment in whatever type of cloth diaper seems best for your family, and just try it for a few weeks. My guess is that you'll probably find, like what happened to me, that actually, cloth diapers are not at all more difficult than disposable diapers. And even if you don't decide to use the diapers full-time, you can always still use them.

I hope this was helpful and/or interesting! I certainly had fun interviewing Jaymz and hearing everything he had to say about the various aspects of cloth diapering.

I'm curious, fellow cloth diapering families: Of you and your partner, who initiated the idea of CDing your baby? Did one of you need to be convinced? What was the main deciding factor in choosing cloth? I can't wait to hear!

Dear Daniel, (nine months)

Your hair got longer and spiky!

You're already nine months old! Even though you're still not 40 weeks old yet, you're nine whole months now, and you're older than the number of weeks you spent gestating. You get bigger every day, and you're always learning new things. Some days when Papa comes home from work, I tell him all the new things you learned that day and he can't believe it.

You're getting so big now that you can sit up to nurse. I don't think I have any photos of it, but it's pretty funny to look down and see you straddling my leg and having a snack while I type and such. You also have crawled over to me, pulled up to stand, and then asked to nurse a couple of times when I was sitting in the low futon chair. I've got a couple of photos of you nursing standing up like that. Fun times.

Snack time

Speaking of asking to nurse, you have learned how to communicate a couple of your needs through signing! You have a sign for nurse, which is very close to the sign we were trying to teach you (which we made up), and you have a sign for more, which is not at all the sign we were trying to teach you (the ASL sign). You are still pretty inconsistent with being able to get your hands together at your mid-line (clapping), so the ASL sign for more (tapping closed fingertips together) isn't something you can do yet, developmentally. However, you figured out that you can tap the table once with a flat palm when you want more (solid food) and you get more food. The sign has evolved over the month from vigorous smacking with one or both hands to being a lighter tap with just one hand. It's really cool that you can communicate with us in this way now.

You gurgle and talk a lot, especially when we're trying to go to bed at night. You like to sing along with the food processor, the television, and the coffee grinder. You sing along with me if I'm in the shower and you can't see me, but if you can see me while I'm singing, you'll dance. The dancing started with you pulling on the frog on your bouncy chair (which plays music) repeatedly and bouncing up and down. Now whenever music plays or we sing, you bounce around and dance to the music.

You do this with your mouth a lot now,
especially when you're feeling shy

In the past couple of weeks, you've figured out how to crawl while using your knees under your body, instead of the lizard-like belly crawl that you were doing all the time before. You do both now, alternating between the two, since you can go faster just on your belly. This month you finally learned to grab the pacifier and stick it in your own mouth when you're feeling upset. It's quite a bit of a relief for us when you're able to do this now, as it makes you feel so much better, and you seem so content to be able to help yourself. Sometimes we look over where you were playing on your mat, and you've popped the pacifier into your mouth and laid your head down on the big floor pillow for a little rest. It's really cute.

You've developed object permanence now, so when you drop an object or it is taken out of your sight, you go looking for it. Another thing you do a lot now is to play with an object for a while, then stick it in your mouth while you crawl somewhere else to play with it again. I often look over at you and you're crawling toward me with something hanging out of your mouth like a little puppy. Your favorite item to do this with is a baby medicine dropper that has never been used for its intended purpose. It has a rubbery cap hanging from the end that you like to chew on and carry it around by while you crawl. (But you also like to carry Sophie and other toys around in your mouth, too.)

Taking Sophie for a stroll

You're able to pull up to a stand wherever you are, though you're not "cruising" around holding onto furniture at this point. You have taken a few steps several times while holding on to an upturned toy bin like a walker. The first time you did it, Papa and I were staring at you in disbelief, when Papa said, "He's taking some first steps!" and at that moment we both realized what was happening. It was delightful to see you figure out a way to walk around a little with the help of a "walker." You also like to pull yourself up on top of the box and do a sort of flying thing where your upper body is on the box and your legs are sticking out straight behind you. I'm quite impressed with your core strength!

On a different note, you've had a couple of...incidents this month. Momma had to call Poison Control for the first time (yes I say it this way on purpose; I have no illusions that it was the last time you'll eat something dangerous). The folks on the phone there were incredibly nice and extremely thorough, and most importantly, you were totally fine. There was no vomiting and you just kept looking at me as if to say, "Why are you making such a fuss? I'm trying to play, here, Momma!"

Cuddles with Papa

The second incident was that you burned your first two fingers on your right hand in a bowl of hot noodles. I was carrying you on one hip and the bowl with the other hand, and you stuck your fingers in there to experience the texture. I pulled your hand out as quickly as I could (I also said, "Hot! Ouch!"), but by that point they were burned and you were crying. It took a couple of hours for you to get calmed down, but after you had a nap, you were back to crawling around and playing like nothing ever happened. The next day your fingers were a little blistered and they're still a bit red now, but you don't even seem to notice them at this point. I felt so bad that this happened to you, but unfortunately I have to agree with what your pediatrician said when I called him: "Minor burns prevent major burns." I burned my hands when I was a bit older than you (a little over a year old, I think?) and I remember it. There's a big part of me that's hoping you won't remember this time you burned your fingers in Momma's lunch.

You're (obviously, evidenced by the incidents) getting more adventurous as you get more mobile. Because of your sensory issues, you are particularly fearful of falling, so the increased mobility has come with increased fussiness at times (usually when you're standing and can't figure out how to sit down). Other times, like when you're crawling around, you can play by yourself contentedly for considerable stretches (this means about ten minutes).

My two babies, "helping" with the dishes

You have developed a particular interest in the kitchen and kitchen items this month. You are happy to sit in your high chair and play with measuring spoons and various other kitchen accouterments while Papa and I cook and/or eat dinner together. You also like to play with the items on the low shelves in our pantry cupboard, and when I open the refrigerator, you like to crawl in there to see what's up. Your favorite thing to do in the kitchen, though, is to play with the dishwasher. When one of us opens the dishwasher, you make a beeline for it, even if you can't see it from where you are playing. You like to pull the dishes and utensils out while Papa is trying to load and unload it, and you like to hold on to the bottom rack and stand up, even though it rolls away from you when you push on it. You and Eddie both really love the dishwasher. We're starting to have a lot of trouble getting the dishes done!

You had a bad GI virus this month that made you lose some weight. I was washing diapers almost every day and still using some disposables, so that will give you an idea of what kind of situation we were dealing with. You were vomiting and pooping quite often and your bum got really raw. In spite of the illness, you didn't have any lapse in energy, so it really only affected Momma and Papa. You had your nine month check-up last week, about a week after you got over the GI virus, and the pediatrician is worried [again] about your growth. You have grown, but once again, you haven't maintained the same percentile, this time for both weight and length. You are in the 17th percentile for length and the 5th percentile for weight now. I am not very concerned (because Papa is tall and thin and Momma was small at your age), but your doctor is a bit worried.

You love to play with your books.

Because of his concern, one of your activities that's been taking up more of our time during the days lately is eating solid foods. I have been feeding you solids three (or more) times per day in an effort to plump you up before your next weight check in a couple of weeks. (He actually wants to be able to see an appreciable difference in your length, too, which I think is kind of a lot to ask in just two weeks, but we'll see!) In any case, you've been eating a lot of solid food in addition to continuing to breastfeed on request.

I've been adding butter and coconut oil to all of your food to give you extra fats. The foods you've had so far (and roughly in the order you tried them) are: avocado, sweet potato/yam, white potato, bacon, carrot, chicken, peas, acorn squash, butternut squash, pumpkin, apricot, multi-grain cereal, broccoli, mango, banana, pear, rice cereal, cheddar cheese (and also butter and coconut oil, as previously mentioned, though those are more condiments than foods). I'm not sure how long I'll keep up with this foods list thing...but probably not for very much longer. In any case, now you know what your first twenty-or-so foods were!

You're very consistent with peeing in the potty after naps now. I'm starting to wonder if you're waking up because you have to pee and might want to go back to sleep again after pottying. I think I'll try offering sleep again this week after you've peed to see if you're interested in lengthening your nap times. Speaking of naps, this month you have established a fairly consistent nap and bed time schedule. You stopped taking the early morning nap and the late in the day nap, and now you take two naps in the middle of the day and go to bed around eight. You wake up once or twice during the night to nurse and cuddle back to sleep, and we're all feeling more rested lately.

As I read back over all of this, I'm realizing you've had a pretty big month (especially for it being the shortest month of the year)! I don't see you slowing down anytime soon, so I guess we'd better get on with the next one now.

I love you so much, sweet Daniel.

Love,
Momma

Dear Daniel, (eight months)

I can't get enough of your smile!

Yesterday you turned EIGHT months old! This has been a huge month for you developmentally. I can't help but notice that each day as you gain independence, you seem to get a little happier and more content with your life. That makes me feel so good, to know you're happy.

You went on your first big trip away from home this month, and met a whole bunch of family members you hadn't met before (and a few you had met before). Everyone loves you very much, and it was so fun to see you interacting with all those new people. You have so much energy, you were wearing everyone out! Papa had to stay home, so on the flights, it was just you and me, kid. You're a patient traveler, though, and most of the other travelers we encountered were understanding when you got a little fussy.

This month, you also got your first two teeth! You've been teething for many months now, and you finally have two cute little bottom front teeth to show for it. The gums never got swollen like so many people said they would. There was just a white dot on your gums on one side one day, then a few days later, I could see and feel both of the teeth right below the gum line. I took a photo when they first barely popped through, but now they're all the way in and so very sharp. You've bitten me once while nursing with these new teeth, and it hurt a lot. Please don't do that anymore, alright? Thank you.

After we got back from the trip, you were used to sleeping with me, so we started sharing a bed again at night. That lasted about a week, before you started rolling all over the place and climbing over Papa and me in the middle of the night. You were obviously trying to learn a large motor skill. We made a bed for you on the floor next to our bed, so you wouldn't fall off the big bed during the night.

A view of your new teeth (and your beautiful eyes,
which are now brown in the center)

And you know what happened? You learned how to crawl! Your Grandpa Jeff came to visit a couple of days after you started scooting around, and he captured some crawling on camera. You've gotten even faster since then, and more intentional about where you're going. When you wake up from your naps now, you make very little sound, and hardly ever cry. You just get out of your bed area and crawl around the room. Often these days, the first sound I hear from the baby monitor when you wake up is the boing boing boing of you happily playing with the springy door stopper. It's so funny!

Papa and I both agree that any inconvenience that comes with your increased mobility is well worth it because it's another way you can let us know what you want. I like that when I'm sitting on the couch reading or crocheting and you want to nurse, you can crawl over to me and pull on my foot to ask to be picked up. When I'm sitting on the floor with you, you often crawl over and up into my lap, to sit there and play. It's really wonderful that you can communicate with us in this way.

Speaking of communication, you've started communicating to us with language much more this month. You started making a mouth smacking sound while looking at me when you want to nurse. You don't make that particular sound any other time, and I'm thrilled to fulfill any requests made in this manner. (I love that you don't always have to cry to communicate anymore!) You have also been pretty consistently saying "Buh" whenever we show you the stuffed bunny you got for Christmas. You also say "Buh" whenever we say other words that start with "B." The most recent communication development is that you say "Puh" when I say "Papa," and you sometimes say it when you see him, too.

Another thing you do by way of verbal communication is that you say a particular "Eh" sound when you want Papa or me to do something again. For example, last night I was kissing you on the face, and every time I would stop, you would say "Eh" and I would do it again, then stop, "Eh," repeat. You do this most of the time in the evenings when we're doing some sort of soothing activity (like when Papa is bouncing you and thumping you on the bum) and whenever we stop, you ask for us to do it again. It's so fun. You're also very effective at telling us when you're tired. These days you start to get very cuddly and want to flop your head on my chest or shoulder.

You don't sign at all yet, but you've started showing an interest in the signs that we are doing. Whenever one of us signs to you, you look at our hands intently, like you're trying to figure it out. The signs we've introduced are: nurse (a sign we made up), more, finished/all done, Momma, Papa, play, food, and toilet/potty.

Since we're on the subject, we've been having even more success with elimination communication (EC) this month. It seems that with the introduction of more solid foods, your elimination patterns have become more predictable and easier to recognize. Papa takes you to the potty after every nap, and you almost always have a pee. A week ago, I finally (after this many months of part-time EC) caught a poop in the toilet. I tried to have you sit on your potty, but you kept trying to stand up since your feet were touching the floor. Instead, I held you over the big toilet and you went there. It was very exciting for Momma. (I don't think anyone ought to get so excited about another person's poop, but I did!) I've come to the conclusion that we should get a little toilet seat insert for you to use when you go on the large toilet.

Now that you're so steady sitting up, and able to crawl around a bit, I've been bringing you into the shower with me some mornings. It's easier to bathe both of us at the same time, and you enjoy playing in the water and with a few toys in the tub while I shower. It's really nice that you can enjoy playing in the shower, because you don't have to be alone (on the floor outside the shower) and I don't have to worry about you getting into anything while crawling around the bathroom.

You're very skilled at passing objects from hand to hand, and turning them all around to experience the object fully. You don't clap your hands, but you do wave them around a lot when you're happy, almost like you want to clap them, but you can't quite figure it out. You have figured out, though, that some objects rattle or jingle when you shake them, so when you pick up a new object, the first thing you do (after putting it in your mouth) is to shake it to see if it makes a sound. You're so smart!

Another new thing you learned how to do this month is to pull yourself up to stand. You do it on the potty and also the coffee table and couch, and various other furniture. You can now get from a seated position to crawling and then back to sitting again, which was a source of great frustration in the first several days of crawling. You would get to crawling around and then want to stop somewhere and not know what to do, so you'd rest your head on the floor and call for me to help you sit up.

The photo is a bit blurry because I was trying to
keep you from falling, you silly kiddo.

Along with all this increased mobility has come the ability to resist getting into the car seat and the stroller. The car seat is the real issue though, since you need to be in it for your safety. As soon as we put you in the car seat, you stand up and arch your back, so you can reach up to the dome light on the ceiling of the car. Even though I've turned off the light, you still remember that sometimes it lights up and you have to touch it a few times before you'll sit down in your seat. 

You really keep getting more and more fun to be around as these months go on, and I just can't even imagine what new things you're going to get into next. I'm delighted to get to experience another month with you. Let's do it!

Love,
Momma

Traveling with Cloth Diapers

My collection of wet bags, packed and ready to go.

I recently took Daniel out of town for his first time on an airplane, and his first trip away from home for more than one night. I went back and forth on whether I would take the cloth diapers with us, or just rely on disposables for a week.

I ended up deciding that I'd take our cloth stash, and if using cloth wasn't working out, I'd go out and buy a small pack of disposables and call it a successful try anyway. I figured that once we got there, cloth diapering wouldn't be any extra work than it is at home. My main concern was what we would do for the travel days, as being on the plane with only cloth diapers made me a little nervous. Turns out, I didn't have anything to worry about. I had heard others' accounts of having major blow-outs on the airplane (due, in part, to the pressure changes) and other such horror stories. For that reason, I brought a few disposables along with us in our carry-on, just in case we ran out of clean cloth and needed a back-up.

Leavin' On a Jet Plane

On the morning of our flight, I put Daniel in a cloth diaper, and packed three more in our travel-size wet bag. I also packed a few extra inserts for re-stuffing after pees. I ended up using only one of the extra insert on the plane. I have a wet bag with a dry pocket on the front (Planet Wise brand) which I love. It's incredibly convenient to store the clean diapers, wipes, and rolled-up changing pad in the front pocket, and then just put the dirty diapers in the back pocket. The bag kept me from having to lug the bulkier diaper bag back and forth from the airplane lavatory, too, which was a bonus.

I flew Southwest airlines, and (as far as I know) all of their planes have a changing table in the front lavatory, but not the back. This means you'll have to be assertive about getting up for the bathroom to change your little one, since there's no congregating or forming lines at the front of the plane. On the four flights I took, only one time did someone (another passenger) give me a hard time for jumping up to change Daniel in the lavatory. He insisted it was his turn, since his wife and daughter had just visited the bathroom. Uh...whatever you say, Mister Grumpy-Pants.

The flight attendants, however, were very helpful. They showed me how to fold down the changing table, even though I already knew how to do it. Several of them also tried to push plastic bags on me for disposing of dirty diapers. It took a lot of convincing for a couple of them to understand that I was using cloth diapers, and that I would absolutely not be throwing them away!

When it was time to change Daniel, I put him in the Ergo and grabbed the wet bag. I thought airplane lavatories felt small when I was pregnant, but they feel much smaller when there are two breathing people in there. The photograph above was taken with my back pressed up against the door as far back as I could go. It was pretty darn tiny! I definitely recommend having a changing pad to put down on the fold-down changing table surface, as you never know what's on those things. If you have a cloth one like ours that can roll up small and fit in your bag—that's even better. As it is, Daniel scooted up above ours so his head was on the table, but it still protected most of him from whatever was left from all the other babies who've been changed there before. (Gross.)

I intentionally dressed Daniel in a onesie with baby leggings, to facilitate diaper changes. I also didn't put any shoes on him, and generally tried to keep the clothing simple, so there was less to mess with throughout the day. I basically just changed his diaper as I usually would when we're away from home, and returned to our seat. It was no big deal—just a little extra cramped in the lavatory compared to a regular public restroom. I didn't end up having to use any disposables on the airplane. Daniel also didn't happen to poop on our travel days, so that made it much easier.

Arrival at Our Destination

Our diaper-changing station (From top left: stuffed diapers,
flushable wipes, flushable liners, Bac-Out, laundry supplies,
dirty laundry bag. Middle left: extra inserts, changing pad.
Bottom left: hanging wet bag)

When we got where we were going, our bags were delayed, so I was grateful for the few disposables that I had brought with us. By the next morning, we had gotten our bags back, and I was able to switch back to cloth at that point. Cloth diapering on this part of the trip was pretty much the same as being at home. We use all pocket diapers now, and I don't have a huge stash (I think I have eighteen, and Daniel is usually wearing the last clean one when I'm washing diapers). Because of this, I'm accustomed to re-stuffing my diapers with clean inserts after some pees to stretch out time between washings. (I usually only re-stuff once before washing a diaper, but it depends on how wet it has been.) I find that with the synthetic inner fabric of most pocket diapers (like bumGenius and Fuzzibunz) the moisture wicks through that inner layer onto the insert, so when I re-stuff the diaper, the shell is pretty dry. If the shell is just a little wet, sometimes I'll let it air dry while I use a clean diaper, and then I'll re-stuff that one for the next diaper change, after it has dried out.

I set up a diaper changing area in the room where Daniel and I were staying with all the things I needed there. I used a large hanging wet bag for the dirty diapers. The hanging wet bags from Planet Wise have a large dry pocket in front (just like the smaller to-go version) where I stored all my clean diapers when I packed them in the suitcase. If it had been a shorter trip, I wouldn't have unpacked the clean diapers from the hanging bag. Instead, I would have pulled a clean one out and put a dirty one back every time I changed Daniel, as I do with the wet bag in our diaper bag. I brought flushable "toddler" wipes instead of cloth, which is what we normally use at home. I used flushable paper liners for poops, and we did elimination communication (EC) part-time, so I ended up having only one dirty (poop) diaper to wash while I was there.

Laundry Time

We were staying with relatives, so, fortunately, I was able to use their washing machine and dryer. I did diaper laundry twice while I was there (same as I would have at home). I tried to mimic my washing routine as closely as possible, as I know it works well for us. At home, I normally do a cold rinse with no spin, then a hot/cold wash with an extra rinse, since we have a HE washer that needs to be tricked to use extra water. The home where I was staying similarly had a HE washer, so it was easy to maintain a similar washing schedule and routine.

I brought a small amount of Charlie's soap powder with me in a plastic sandwich bag, along with a small bottle of Bi-O-Kleen brand Bac-Out enzymatic cleaner (which I use to spray dirty diapers down), and my lavender and tea tree oils. I also used a little baking soda from my family's kitchen as a laundry booster. When it came time to wash diapers, I dumped the contents of the wet bag out into the washer, then threw the bag in, too. I washed the whole lot together, and I didn't have to touch any stinky diapers in the process. (This hanging wet bag method may actually be a little easier than my at-home method, where I have a dry diaper pail with a washable pail liner that goes into the washer with the diapers.)

If you're traveling somewhere where you won't have access to a free washer and dryer, check out Hobo Mama's tips for cloth diapering for apartment dwellers. Most of her tips can be easily adapted to apply to traveling with cloth: using laundromats, hand washing, line drying, etc. If you're going somewhere where you'll be staying in a hotel, look for one with laundry facilities. Keep in mind whenever you use public laundry facilities that others have probably used scented detergents and fabric softeners in the machines before you got there. Consider doing a load or two of your family's clothes with a fragrance-free detergent and no fabric softener before you do your diaper laundry, to prevent them from getting coated with detergent build-up from previous users.

Top Traveling Tips:

• Try to streamline your diaper bag, especially if you're traveling by airplane. If you have a small wet bag with a front dry pocket, use that for trips to the lavatory to change your baby's diaper.
• Bring a compact changing pad with you for your trip.
• Bring a large, reliable wet bag, preferably a hanging wet bag with a clean (dry) pocket on the front.
• Use flushable liners and wipes to make cleaning up poop easier.
• Practice EC, if that's something you already do at home.
• If you feel comfortable doing so, re-stuff your pocket diapers after pees, it'll stretch out a smaller stash and keep you from having to wash as often.
• Try to mimic your at-home washing routine as best you can when you're away from home.
• Cloth diapering is not all or nothing! If using disposables on the plane or at night time makes it easier to use cloth for the rest of your trip, do it. You never have to feel guilty about deciding to use a few disposables because you're going out of town. Traveling with a baby is tricky enough without being hard on yourself about your diaper choices.  
• Be gentle and patient with yourself!

I hope reading about my experiences traveling with cloth inspires someone to give it a try! I really love cloth diapering, so I was highly motivated to make this work for us. It ended up being fun to have all of Daniel's cute cloth diapers with us, and we got a lot of compliments on them. (He even received a new one as a Christmas gift while we were there!) I feel confident that the next time we travel, our cloth diapers will definitely come along with us for the ride.

Have you traveled with cloth diapers? What are some of your best tips/tricks for being away from home with cloth? I'd love to learn some new things from you!

Dear Daniel, (five months!)

You liked this swing for a few days,
but now you're over it.

Wow, kiddo, you turned five months old on Sunday! This month has gone by so very fast, even though it's been harder than other months.

It's been a tough month because you've been crying a lot. Once a week or so, you cry so hard that your voice is hoarse the next day. It makes us so sad to hear the effects of your crying lingering in your voice, but fortunately, it doesn't seem to bother you at all! Maybe you're starting to feel particularly grumpy about teething?

You're always
chewing on something!

Your mouth must be hurting because you're chewing all the time. My fingers have gotten very sore from the constant gnawing. Over the past week, we've received some new teething gifts from your grandparents (thanks, guys!), and you seem to be enjoying getting to know all the new textures. It's nice to have more things to try when you're feeling fussy about your teeth. I remember what it felt like to have my second set of teeth come in as a child, so I can only imagine what it feels like to have that happen for the first time. Ouch! Good thing you (most likely) won't remember it.

You found your feet this month and promptly put them in your mouth. It's usually the left one that you prefer to munch on. You do it a lot on the changing table and when we're lying in bed together in the morning. Also, if I leave you to play by yourself on the floor for a while, I often find you wearing one wet sock when I retrieve you from your play area.

Yummy left foot!

It's fun that you're enjoying your feet so much, but it's made it more challenging to do EC since you found them. Often, when I squat you over the toilet, you put your foot in your mouth instead of peeing. Speaking of EC, we have yet to have you pee or poop in the bathtub, because we always offer the potty before and after the bath. You're almost always dry when I get you up from a nap, and if I don't take you to potty right when you wake up, you'll pee on the changing table right after I take your diaper off. I think it's pretty amazing that you'll hold it so long to avoid being wet!

This month, you've gotten increasingly vocal in happy ways, too! You still like to talk a lot when we're driving somewhere in the car. You wake up most mornings chatting to yourself happily. Sometimes, you like to sing along with us when we're singing to you or when we have music playing. You certainly do seem to like music! I really enjoy our times singing to you together. One thing you're still warming up to is Music Together class. I've been working on making that a happier experience for you, particularly with a long transition time before class starts. When you get over-stimulated by the class, we go and stand in the corner away from all the people.

You don't laugh often, but when you do, it's so delightful. Your papa and I spend lots of time trying to get you to laugh. I'm pretty sure you're amused, but you seem to enjoy watching us make such an effort for no reward. All the silliness gets us laughing though, so it's worth it anyway. We took lots of video of you making joyful noises, and here's some of it: (There's also an extended version for anyone who might be interested in watching it.)



Earlier this month, I took you back to the doctor to get weighed again, and you're 14lbs, 5oz! This means you're on the same percentile curve that you were last time. This confirms that everything is just fine with your weight gain. Basically, the doctor said you're tall and skinny...and since I know your Papa, I can't say I'm surprised about that one! The doctor tried so hard to make you laugh when we were there, but you wouldn't even crack a smile for him. I thought it was pretty funny how you refused to fall for his tricks!

In the past week or so, you've figured out that you can grab me by the hair. Now I have to be careful how close I get to your face or you might get a handful of my hair and pull! You pull on Papa's hair, too, so I think you just enjoy the textural experience. You and Eddie regularly have baby/kitty cuddle sessions. I took some really cute video of the two of you doing this last week. He curls up next to (or partially on top of) you, and you pull on his ears and fur while he soaks up all the attention. It's definitely a mutually-beneficial relationship. You two are pretty darn cute!

Aside from the crying, your tendency to not stay asleep for long stretches during the day seems to be slowly diminishing. I can almost always get you to take an hour or more nap in the morning, and then if I lay down with you, you'll have a nice long nap in the afternoon. Then, in the evening, you nap in the Ergo on Papa before bedtime. Between those three longer stretches and your more typical, shorter naps, I think you're getting more sleep these days.

"Are you looking at me, Momma?"

Another thing you've started doing is popping off the breast during nursing time if I'm not looking at you. You definitely want all our attention all the time. If I try to talk to Papa, drink water, or eat a bite of food, you pop off and look up at me, waiting for my undivided attention. It's cute...until the milk gets everywhere and we're both wet. I know you're just so interested in discovering your environment, so I'm trying to limit distractions during mealtimes so you'll focus and eat.

You love holding hands!

You also really love to play with our hands. When we're holding you, when you're playing on the floor, when you're in your bouncy seat or car seat—you often would like to have a Momma or Papa hand to entertain you. Sometimes when you're fussy, all we have to do is give you a hand so you can wiggle our fingers around, and you calm right down. It's really sweet, and I'm glad having a little closeness from your parents is so comforting to you.

The other really sweet thing you've been doing more this month is petting our faces. You sure love to make eye contact with one of us and just pet our faces endlessly. We've made eye contact and face-touching part of the bedtime routine, and it really seems to keep you happy and calm. Between that and cuddling with your blanket, we get through most bedtimes lately without much crying, if any. I love it when you have a happy bedtime!

I had this dream a couple of weeks ago, where I was holding onto your hands to support you to a stand. I was holding you like that, just like we do sometimes when you push up that way, and all of a sudden you took off running away from me. I stood there stunned, thinking, "Whoa, wait a minute! Since when can you do that?!" I woke up realizing that it was definitely a sign of the times to come. I know it's only a matter of time before you take off running away from your Momma. That will be an exciting day for both of us!

These five months of constant growth, change, and development have been so amazing to experience with you. I love you more than words can say.

Love,
Momma

Dear Daniel, (three months!)

Today you are three months old! This means you are officially out of the "fourth trimester" and you're continuing to grow and change so fast, I can hardly stand it! Your Papa and I are so delighted to experience these early parts of your life with you.

This month you've done lots of new things. You and I participated in the Big Latch On PDX, trying to break a world record for number of people breastfeeding at the same time. We didn't break the record, but I hope that next year you'll be willing to participate and we'll try again. You met your final set of grandparents this month, my dad and stepmother. We went with them a couple of times to Powell's Books and you cuddled with me while I did some writing. A few weeks ago, we hiked with Papa, Jennifer, Oscar, and Tomás at Upper Macleay Park. It was fairly grueling for the adults, but you and Tomás pretty much slept through the whole thing. I'm certainly having lots of fun taking you with me wherever I go—you're a great traveler! You had your first little sunburn (a tiny bit of pinkness on your cheeks and nose) after I took you to the park with Rachel and Bennett to get a little vitamin D. I'll be better about the sunscreen next time.

You're learning lots of new things lately. You smile all the time, which is particularly delightful to wake up to every morning. As soon as you see me looking at you, you light up with your big, toothless grin. You're beginning to chew on things more often. In fact, you can chomp down pretty hard with your gums, and can hurt adult fingers and knuckles (and anything else that goes in your mouth). I'm working with you a bit on nursing manners.

Speaking of chewing, you chew and suck on your hands and fingers a lot. It's really fun to watch! You are also figuring out how to bring other things to your mouth (besides your hands) to taste and chew. You seem to prefer soft things like blankets and cloth wipes to harder things like toys or your pacifier. You also like just tasting things, and you'll often stick your tongue out and lick anything that's close to your mouth (a shoulder or hand of whoever is carrying you, for example).

You still enjoy playing very much, and you're becoming more intentional each day with your hand movements. You've begun to pet and touch Papa and me gently when we're holding you or when we're nursing, which is so sweet. Sometimes when I'm talking to you, you'll reach up and touch my cheek or mouth to feel my face moving while I talk. Some of my favorite times still are when we are nursing, and you certainly seem to enjoy it, too. I love that I can make you feel better, ease your hunger, and help you sleep deeply with such a simple and beautiful act.

You're also making lots of cute sounds lately. You and Papa have cooing conversations fairly regularly. With me, you coo and gurgle some, but mostly you like to smile and make other faces at me:


This month we had our first successes with Elimination Communication (EC). I wasn't trying to do it before this month, and I'm not doing it all the time, but it's nice to be able to respond to your cues in that way. It's been fun to realize how much I know about your needs. So far, I've only been able to catch pees, but it was funny when I accidentally figured out how to cue you to burp. You're a silly boy!

One thing that hasn't changed is that you're still sleeping with your eyes open. I recently posted a video of you having a dream in my lap with your eyes open. You had been having some trouble getting enough sleep—taking only a handful of 20-minute naps throughout the day—but in the past week you seem to have turned a corner with napping. We've begun swaddling you again, and you start your nights on your Papa's side of the bed in the cradle that your Uncle Kevin made for you. Midway through the night, you come into bed to nurse and then you sleep with us there for the rest of the night. Sometimes during the day I have to cover your eyes for naps so you can get some much-needed rest. (You don't seem to mind too much.) You can get so distracted by all the exciting things you have to discover in your world!

The last time we had you weighed (at your two-month doctor visit) you were 11lbs, 1oz, and you've definitely grown since then. We've cycled through all of the newborn clothes and most of the 0-3 month clothes, and you're solidly into the 3-6 or 6 month sizes because you're just so darn long! I realized a few days ago that you officially weigh more than both of our cats. Way to go, kiddo! Pretty soon, you'll be terrorizing Eddie instead of the other way around; he totally has it coming.

I expected you to grow and change, and I knew it would go fast (but not this fast). The thing I didn't know would happen is that you're getting more and more fun to be around and interact with as time goes on—what a great surprise! You're wonderful.

Love,
Momma