Dear Daniel, (On Leaving Your Birthplace)

Hi, Love.

We've all been through a huge transition recently—perhaps the largest one we've been through since you emerged from your cozy, fluid womb environment into this bright, loud world. Papa, Matthew, you, and I have moved into a new house.

We were excited to make this move, and hopeful about the prospect of stability and consistency we would be afforded by owning a home. Like all transitions in life, there have been both happy and difficult things about making this change together. One thing I didn't anticipate fully is how strange it would feel to leave the place where you were born.

You see, Daniel, most babies these days (about 99% of those born in the United States) are born in places designed specifically for birth: labor and delivery rooms, birthing centers, and operating rooms. Mamas and families go to these places to birth their babies and then they come back home after a short stay there, spending a relatively brief amount of time in the rooms where their kiddos are born.

Sunday Surf: Home Ownership & Earth Day

We've made a few late-night trips to the hardware store.
This particular night there was a special on projectiles.

Happy Earth Day! I've been enjoying the sunshine and the warm air today. We even got the new clothesline hung up in the back yard, and it's full of fresh diapers right now. Lovely! What did you do to celebrate Earth Day?

We're starting to get more settled here in our new house, which feels really good. I'm not sure if you knew, but home ownership puts your "To Do" list on growth hormone, and the list instantly doubles or triples in size. It's really been fun though, to make plans for rooms, to put things in their new places, and see everything beginning to take shape.

I've been a bit preoccupied with all these new tasks, so I missed Sunday Surf last week. This week is a bit late, but I know you understand!

Tons of thanks to my fabulous guest bloggers from last week, Jorje of Momma Jorje, Gretchen of That Mama Gretchen, and Charise of I Thought I Knew Mama. Jorje helped me out for the Carnival of Natural Parenting by revealing a handy tool she uses to navigate bedtime routine to avoid struggling with her daughter. Gretchen wrote about how a book she used to read with her mom helps her to remember these days (as a mom of a little one with one on the way) how important it is to take time to care for herself. Charise shared a piece outlining a few of the many reasons why breastfeeding has been extremely convenient and helpful for her family. I hope you'll visit Jorje's blog, Gretchen's blog, and Charise's blog to show them each some love for helping me out during this transitional time!

Here are a few of the great things I've read lately:

Sunday Surf: Self Love & Special Needs

Did you remember that it's April Fool's Day today? For all you gullible suckers like me, I'm taking this opportunity to offer a friendly PSA: don't believe anything you read today!

Except here (of course) where you get only the facts:

I'm rounding out week two of this awful cold we've all had, which has subsided to just a cough. There's been lots of packing and chaos around here as we prepare to move (next Saturday—whoa) and I'm still wondering if we're going to be able to get it all done before the movers get here.

I also had a minor accident this week, which involved the refrigerator door shelf breaking off and a glass pitcher full of juice falling out onto the floor...and my foot. I put in this cute naked-bum photo of Daniel with his car seat and the empty boxes, but the real photo of the week should've been my bloody foot. I'll spare you that one! (Oh, except I tweeted about it when the bleeding stopped, if you're feeling curious. ;)

I promise, I don't always have bad news to report! On the fun side, we're excitedly preparing for our move, and the front yard is already sporting four new (to us) rose bushes which I acquired through Freecycle (along with some irises, lemon balm, and grape hyacinth). There's nothing like free plants! Happy Spring!

Here are a few of the great things I've read lately:

Sunday Surf: Birthing & Gentle Discipline

Jaymz and I signed the papers (and put money down) for our new house this week. It was very exciting! BUT the official closing date has been moved back until early next week, so we don't get the keys until then, which is kind of a bummer.

Late this week I met the appliance delivery people at the new house to observe them putting the new appliances (refrigerator, washer, and dryer) into the house. It felt a little weird to be standing around in the empty house watching them work, but it was really fun to see our shiny new things getting settled into their new places.

This is the first time Jaymz and I have owned any large appliances (besides our chest freezer, which is also a relatively recent addition). We picked them out on a (rainy) Saturday during Daniel's nap, without any advanced planning or research whatsoever. I have to say, it was quite a strange feeling to be in a room full of warm, empty refrigerators: debating their ins, outs, and what-have-yous.

On that note, here are a few of the great things I've read lately:

Empowered Birthing

Welcome to the Empowered Birth Week Blog Carnival!

This post is part of the Empowered Birth Week Blog Carnival hosted by Child of the Nature Isle and Betsy Dewey. For this special event, the carnival participants have shared their perspective on Empowered Birth. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

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I've spent quite a bit of time lately thinking back through and reflecting on my birth experience. In some ways, the birth was not what I had imagined it would be (including preterm labor, followed by a long prodromal labor, and even a dislocated tailbone postpartum). Despite all that, I can't help but look back on the experience of birthing my baby with awe. I feel completely satisfied with how the whole thing progressed, but most of all after giving birth I feel like I could do anything!

There were a lot of choices I made that I think greatly affected not only the outcome of my birth, but also the way I feel about it today. Those choices (including home birth, midwifery care, and minimal interventions) were right for me, but I don't think there's any one formula that can guarantee an empowering birth experience for every woman. I believe that others can (and do!) experience empowerment from their birth experiences while making completely different choices than I did. The only requirement is that they are the right decisions for her.

Visiting Hobo Mama

As you might remember, I visited Lauren from Hobo Mama a while back to help her prepare her home for the birth of her second baby. This post (also seen at HoboMama today) is a photo account of my time there. I hope you like it!

Touristy shot of the Space Needle

This is quite a bit overdue, as the Hobo Baby pictured in-utero here (little Alrik) is out in the world and over one month old now. In any case, I wanted to share some photographs and a few stories from my time at Lauren's, helping her get ready for the arrival of her newest family member.

Lauren's Wordless Wednesday post (depicting the disarray of her house mid- third trimester home improvements) inspired me to offer to do something for her which was just a bit out of my usual comfort zone: to travel by car with my baby (and without my partner) to help a friend prepare her home for the arrival of her second child. I say it's out of my comfort zone because—and if you know me well, you already know this—I don't much like driving. I also really enjoy being a part of a parenting team, especially because Daniel requires a lot of special attention due to his sensory processing difficulties (even more so when we're not at home).

I stepped out of my comfort zone and Lauren graciously accepted my offer to help...and I am so glad she did! It was really fun for Daniel and me to have a bit of a reprieve from our regular lives, and I found that visiting someone who already has children is much different (and easier) than visiting somewhere that isn't as accustomed to having little people around.

I had a great time, and I was sad when we had to leave earlier than planned (more on that later). (Somehow, a lot of these photographs were taken on the same day...I assure you, we all did change our clothes on a fairly regular basis while I was visiting.) Here are a few photos from the trip:

I did a bit of computerizing while I was there...

...and Daniel did a fair amount of napping on my back.

Seeing Mikko interact with Daniel throughout our visit was one of the sweetest things I've encountered to date. Mikko would help me buckle Daniel into his car seat, he would hand Daniel something to play with, and he was always helpful in letting me know when Daniel needed more nummies. I could tell he was about to make a very caring big brother to a lucky little sibling!

Mikko and Daniel happily sharing the back seat.
(We also got to try out Alrik's car seat on Daniel.)

Lauren finished sewing this really beautiful (and extremely comfortable) mei tai while I was there:

 It wasn't quite the right size for Mikko.

Daniel fit in it just fine, though!

Lauren was kind enough to allow me to come with her and Mikko to what turned out to be her final prenatal appointment with her midwives. While Daniel had a little nap in the car seat in the waiting room, we had loads of fun in the exam room:

Mikko helped measure his Mama's belly.

And he "listened" to the baby.
(Notice how the stethoscope isn't even in his ears—so cute!)

There was (of course) some home improvement to complete before the baby's arrival. After the appointment with the midwives, we made an evening trip to Home Depot to buy a toilet for the unfinished downstairs bathroom. It must've been quite a sight: Me wearing Daniel on my back, while pushing Mikko in the cart, and walking with a very pregnant Lauren...while purchasing a toilet (and various other home improvement items).

Here, Lauren consults Sam about faucet options.

Turns out, the Home Depot was right next to Starbucks headquarters. I took this photograph while nursing Daniel in the back seat of the car. At the same time, the Home Depot guy was taking his time making sure the trunk was tied down securely...with the new toilet safe inside!

Toilet installation was fun (and also fodder for lots of potty humor). I took several photographs of the process, but it really was a three-person (at least) job. The actual toilet placement moment took all of us.

Why is Sam wearing only one glove?
(I have no idea.)

We got the toilet installed, and Lauren decided that this was the moment that it was officially OK for the baby to come:

"Alright baby, we've got a toilet! You can be born now."

While Sam was getting some work done and Lauren was taking Mikko to preschool, I was tasked with the responsibility of setting up the birth tub. I was excited to do this because it felt like we were really making progress getting things ready for the baby to be born. (Also, I wasn't at all involved in the inflation of my own birth tub—as I was laboring while Jaymz and our midwives set it up—so it was interesting to do for the first time.) First, I put Daniel on my back, so he could see all the action without getting into it:

Next, I laid everything out in the spot Lauren had designated, then I began to inflate the tub:

After a while, it was all pumped up and ready to go!

(Lauren actually took these next two photographs after I had left.) Mikko made sure to test out the tub to ensure that it was safe:

It was a relief for me to see these photos of Mikko in the tub,
"contaminating" the tub liner that was marked sterile before
I took it out of the package. I had worried that I'd touched it too much
in the tub-inflation process. (Turns out it was no big deal.)

On the last evening I was there we had dinner out together, and saw the sunset on the beach by Lauren's house. I can't imagine a more beautiful and peaceful place to spend the beginning of one's birthing time than on the beach:

Daniel was all tuckered-out on our last night there. (He was cutting a tooth and also fighting an infected diaper rash.)

Lauren has the most comfortable sofa bed I've ever slept on.
(Daniel seemed to agree.)

Because of Daniel's infection, I decided to drive us home a day earlier than we had originally planned so that I could take Daniel to his pediatrician for treatment.

Lauren went into labor right about the time we arrived back in Portland.

I felt quite sad at first that I had so closely missed being there for Alrik's birth (though I had not specifically intended to attend the birth). As I lit a candle for Lauren and Sam, I felt a sense of peace, knowing that events had transpired exactly the way they had for a reason, and that perhaps Alrik was even waiting for me to leave before he decided to come out.

I really enjoyed our time in Seattle with the Hobo family! It was so fun to get to hang out with my internet friend in person (if even for a short time) and to spend more time with Mikko and Sam. Now I can't wait until I get to meet little Alrik...hopefully soon!

Happy First Anniversary of Birth to Daniel (and Me!)

One year ago today, at 6:07AM, Daniel was born gently at home in the water. He was born a few feet from where he now sleeps at night, in the space that we've just recently started calling "Daniel's room."

Words completely fail me when I try to describe this first year of parenthood. It has seemed to pass by very fast...and also agonizingly slow at times. It's been extremely joyful while also being the most difficult thing I've ever done in my life. The best I can do is to say: It's been incredible. It's been awesome. And I'm glad I can say that I've truly soaked in every moment.

I'll write a proper one year post later, as Jaymz and I were—perhaps very appropriately, considering the anniversary of the finale of my epic labor—up until the wee hours comforting a very grumpy and sleepless baby. (He might've eaten too much dairy, or he's coming down with a cold, or maybe we were helping him welcome a new tooth for his birthday...only time will tell which it was!)

In any case, in celebration of this special day, I'd love for you to share your thoughts on birth, your birth stories, your favorite birthday-celebration ritual, what kind of cake you'd choose to take to a deserted island, or anything (tangentially related) that comes to mind. I can't wait to read what you have to say!

Birth Works: On Meeting Ina May Gaskin

A sea of people who care about the future of birth.

I had the privilege of attending Ina May Gaskin's lecture at Town Hall in Seattle this past weekend, on Mother's Day. She spoke on "Birth Works! Why Don't We Know It?"

There was something really incredible about being in that sold-out room packed with (mostly) women. There were so many pregnant women and mothers with tiny babies, and the room was full of breastfeeders and babywearers. I saw plenty of people knitting, too, which was fun for the fiber art lover that I am.

When I was in line waiting to get in (and nursing Daniel in the mei tai while I stood there outside) a couple of women in front of me in line invited me into their conversation. They talked about their kids, told their birth stories, and even talked about how to make homemade laundry detergent. That interaction embodied the friendly dynamic there; it was like we all understood that we're a part of the larger picture, and that we're working together for a larger cause.

Ina May in front of a photograph of the caravan
on their way to found The Farm in Tennessee.

One of the things Ina May talked about a lot was Sphincter Law. I had read about this concept in her books, but it was fun (and funny!) to hear her talk about it in person.

She posited that we, as a society, have forgotten how to treat our sphincters (cervices included) with respect. She outlined the basics of Sphincter Law:

• They are shy.
• They don't obey orders.
• They do respond well to praise.
• They open better when owner's forehead, mouth, and jaw are relaxed and open.
• They open well when owner is smiling or laughing.

Ina May shares a photo of her husband Stephen's
famous Monday Night Class.

She pointed out that we know these things when it comes to certain bathroom habits (the average man would be unable to pee standing in front of a group of on-lookers, for example) but that when it comes to birth, the general medical establishment treats birth totally differently. She said that we should look at how other mammals give birth, to remind us that our bodies know how to birth; we know how to birth.

Lauren and I did a bit of live-tweeting during the talk (at least, I tried...but it was hard to be quick at it). Here are a few of my favorite quotes from our tweets:

"We midwives know we need doctors; we're trying to teach doctors that they need us!"

"I had a secret desire to be a midwife, not an English teacher."

"We had discovered oxytocin...and it doesn't just come in a vial; it doesn't just come in your IV."

"I want us to claim all of our people; I want us to start acting like a country that values our women. I want that more than anything in the world!"

"Teach little kids that birth is natural, birth happens, and we're as well-made as any other mammal!"

Ina May also answered questions from people in the audience after the main lecture. Topics covered stigma about home birth and availability of midwifery care for fat women, health disparities in the low-income and black communities, and how to encourage a shy sphincter in a VBAC mom. There was a lot of passion apparent, both in the questions that were asked and the answers Ina May gave. Everyone there was trying to figure out how to help moms and babies have better birth outcomes, how to increase access to midwifery care for all low-risk populations, and how to help more people to have access to healthcare in general. It was totally inspirational to be in a room full of concerned people. The energy was awesome!

I got to meet Ina May after the talk, and she signed my old copy of Spiritual Midwifery, one of the books that made me want to go to nursing school (where I witnessed my first birth):

I met Penny Simkin (author of my favorite book for partners and doulas, The Birth Partner):

And I hung out with Lauren from Hobo Mama (as we both swooned over our birthy idols):

It was really a wonderful day, and definitely a Mother's Day I won't soon forget!

Now that you've heard my account of the events, I highly recommend that you go read what Lauren has to say about the experience. (I hear she even has an extra-special surprise in store for one lucky reader!)

Must Read: Natural Parenting Top Ten

Welcome to the March Carnival of Natural Parenting: Natural Parenting Top 10 Lists This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have shared Top 10 lists on a wide variety of aspects of attachment parenting and natural living. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

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In a lot of ways, my parenting philosophy happens to align with the principles of Attachment Parenting. The first principle is Prepare for Pregnancy, Birth, and Parenting:

Become emotionally and physically prepared for pregnancy and birth. Research available options for health care providers and birthing environments, and become informed about routine newborn care. Continuously educate yourself about developmental stages of childhood, setting realistic expectations and remaining flexible.

I did a lot of my preparation for pregnancy, birth, and parenting (and continue to) through reading. Because of that, I'd like to share my top ten (or so) favorite books that I've enjoyed reading (so far) in my preparation for pregnancy, birth, and parenting. I've added a brief description of why I like the book and, in some cases, a quote or two from the book. Here they are:

1. Ina May's Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin, CPM: I love this book! I like how the first half is birth stories, and then the second half is about the "essentials of birth," explaining the physiology of birth, outlining the tests and medical procedures you might encounter, and emphasizing the mind/body connection. I like that she cites her sources at the end of each chapter for easy reference. A couple of my favorite quotes:

   "Your body is not a lemon. You are not a machine. The Creator is not a careless mechanic. Human female bodies have the same potential to give birth well as aardvarks, lions, rhinoceri, elephants, moose, and water buffalo. Even if it has not been your habit throughout your life so far, I recommend that you learn to think positively about your body."

   "Men take it for granted that their sexual organs can greatly increase in size and then become small again without being ruined. ...[O]bstetricians of earlier generations planted the idea (which is still widely held) that nature cheated women when it came to the tissues of the vagina and perineum (give it one good stretch, and it's done for, like a cheap girdle), and a lot of women have bought the idea that their crotches are made of shoddy goods."

   (For more amazing birth stories from Ina May Gaskin's births on The Farm, read Spiritual Midwifery.)
2. At least one of these (if not all): The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth by Henci Goer, Your Best Birth by Ricki Lake and Abby Epstein, or Birth: The Surprising History of How We Are Born by Tina Cassidy: I like all of these books as ways to learn about your options and empower you to be an informed and involved participant in your health care. However, I wouldn't recommend reading Birth: The Surprising History of How We Are Born while pregnant, since it explores some pretty dark times in the history of obstetric care, and might not be the best thing to be filling your mind with during pregnancy (just my opinion).

   From Your Best Birth: "...[B]ecause this is your baby, it's up to you to decide what kind of birth is best for you—even if it's different from the type your sister, cousin, or best friend had. It could even be the type of birth that your OB-GYN hasn't initially suggested to you. Your best birth is one where you feel empowered because you know all your options and are confident in the decisions you have made about the birth."

3. Birthing From Within by Pam England CNM, MA and Rob Horowitz, Ph.D: I love this book because it focuses on preparing your mind and spirit, your partnership and your home for the birth of your baby. I found pregnancy to be a time of deep introspection and self-reflection, and this book helped me on that journey. Sections include: The Art of Birthing, Being Powerful in Birth, Birthing Through Pain, and Gestating Parenthood. There are lots of exercises (reflective writing, drawing, etc.) throughout the book, and they're not just for pregnant women. I actually read this book the first time when I was completing my labor doula training, and I found it very useful in that application, too.
4. The Pregnant Woman's Comfort Book: A Self-Nurturing Guide to Your Emotional Well-Being During Pregnancy and Early Motherhood by Jennifer Louden: The title pretty much says it all. This book is aimed at self-care for the pregnant woman and new mother. I used this book more like a workbook, using a blank notebook with it to go through the reflective exercises and write down any thoughts that came up while reading.
5. The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, 8th Ed. by La Leche League International: This a classic and wonderfully comprehensive breastfeeding guide. It covers everything from nesting, birth, latching and early attachment, and the early weeks, to solid foods introduction, breastfeeding toddlers, pumping and alternative feeding routes, and weaning. The first edition was published in 1958, and what else can I say? A book that's been around that long and remained popular and relevant is a must-read.
6. Bestfeeding: How to Breastfeed Your Baby by Mary Renfrew, Chloe Fisher, and Suzanne Arms: I like this book so much because it's an easy read, and it has lots of wonderful photographs of breastfeeding pairs. Breastfeeding is a learned skill, and in much of the Western world right now, it isn't something we grow up seeing all the women around us doing. The book covers breastfeeding basics, solutions to common (and less common) problems, and tons of great photographs.

   "Successful breastfeeding must become the respected and honored norm for women today. When it does, many more people will gain confidence in the fact that women's bodies work, and that babies are the best judge of their own food intake"

7. The Baby Book: Everything You Need to Know About Your Baby From Birth to Age Two by William Sears, MD and Martha Sears, MD: The quintessential book about infancy and babyhood. I use this book more as a reference book, looking up things when I'm curious, instead of reading it cover-to-cover (all 675 pages of it!). I like all of the child development information in the later chapters. I also appreciate that there is honest and balanced information included about circumcision. This book is also geared toward promoting healthy attachment through the early stages of your baby's life. It is also inclusive of cloth diapering, co-sleeping, babywearing and other natural parenting practices. (And, of course, William and Martha Sears have written a bunch of other great books that I could put on this list, too.)
8. Brain Rules for Baby: How to Raise a Smart and Happy Child from Zero to Five by John Medina: This is a fascinating scientific (but not difficult to read) look at child brain development from its beginnings in utero until age five, and most importantly, what we can do as parents to provide the best environment for our kids' brains to grow. He emphasizes the need for lots of face-to-face time, he explains why we should limit screen time for little ones, he encourages talking to kids—a lot. He discusses intelligence and IQ, discipline and spanking, fussiness and morality. At the end of each chapter, there are lists of key points for you to review. One of the things I like best about this book is that John Medina stresses that a safe, loving, nurturing environment is the most important aspect of helping your child's neurological development.

   "Intelligence is not developed in the crucibles of machines, but in the arms of warm, loving people."

9. The Attachment Connection: Parenting a Secure and Confident Child Using the Science of Attachment Theory by Ruth P. Newton, Ph.D: This book is all about attachment theory (not attachment parenting, which can be easy to confuse). It discusses how to foster your child's secure attachment using findings from attachment theory research. The author stresses the importance of focusing primarily on your child's emotional development during the early years. She explains the difference between the types of attachments (secure, insecure-avoidant, and insecure-ambivalent) and explains how we should be striving to be "good enough" parents.

   "Raising secure, emotionally competent, cooperative children who have full access to their creativity and expression is desperately needed for the health of the human race and the health of the planet. Raising secure children matters."

10. Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason by Alfie Kohn: This book is about positive or gentle discipline, about working with our children instead of trying to control them. I really believe Alfie Kohn is right on about how we shouldn't place value judgments on our kids' actions, but rather seek to provide them with unconditional love (and the research supports this concept). Then, when things are going wrong, we should try to discover what they are really needing in a situation instead of withdrawing love, affection, and attention from them in those moments.

    "Lots of people believe that when any individual, even a small child, does something bad, then something bad should be done to that individual in return.... Never mind whether punishment works, whether it teaches any desirable lessons or has any constructive effects on children's values or behaviors. Many parents continue to use it because they see punishment as a moral imperative. Indeed, you have to swim against the tide in our culture if you chose to respond to children's misbehavior in any way other than by imposing an unpleasant consequence."

I've enjoyed making this list, and it's making me want to go back and re-read several of these books again! Tell me, what are some of your favorites? What books would be on your list?

Disclosure: Amazon links are affiliate links.
Please see my full disclosure policy here. 

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Visit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:
(This list will be live and updated by afternoon March 8 with all the carnival links.)

• Attachment Parenting in the NICU — Erica at ChildOrganics shares some strategies to help you parent naturally in some unnatural circumstances.
• 10 Reasons to Choose Baby Led Weaning — Luschka from Diary of a First Child shares ten reasons to choose Baby Led Weaning when it comes to solids.
• Choosing to Breastfeed — From selfishness to self-giving, CatholicMommy at Working to be Worthy lists reasons why breast is best for her and her family.
• Ten Things I Wish I Knew About Before Little Man — In this reflective post, The ArstyMama discusses ten things she wishes she knew more about before the birth of her son, Little Man.
• 10 Things That Helped Me Become a Natural Mama — The Accidental Natural Mama counts down ten things that helped her find her moderately crunchy inner mama self.
• Top 10 Reasons to Breastfeed Your Toddler — Extended breast-feeder Kate Wicker of Momopoly makes her own top 10 list for why she loves nursing her 2-year-old.
• Top 10 Tips on Authentic Grandparenting — Mamapoekie of Authentic Parenting offers a list of tips to make the grandparent-parent-child relationship flow smoothly.
• Top Ten "Dad" Things — Liam at In The Now talks about his favourite ways to spend time with his children.
• Top 10 Natural Strategies for Conception (aka How to Get Pregnant!) — Despite facing plenty of health issues, Jessica Claire at Crunchy-Chewy Mama found her way to two first-try pregnancies thanks to these natural strategies.
• Top Ten Reasons Why Home Birth Rocks — Lucy at Dreaming Aloud shares her passion for birthing at home - the natural place for natural birth.
• Top 10 reasons why cloth nappies are fun — Tat at Cloth Nappies Are Fun shows how using cloth nappies can brighten up your day.
• Top Ten Ways to Be Present With Family — Amy at Innate Wholeness shares how to make the most of parenting and family life through being present.
• Top 10 Things In My Arsenal of Kitchen Witchy Mama Tricks. — Joni Rae at Tales of A Kitchen Witch shares with us the simple things she would never want to be missing from her cupboards.
• Top 10 ways I'm not very good at natural parenting (and why I keep trying anyway) — Jenny at Babyfingers shares the ways she is imperfect as a natural parent, and why she embraces natural parenting anyway.
• Top 10 Ways to Know You Are a Natural Parent — So what makes us "natural parents," anyway? A lighthearted look at the Top 10 Ways to Know You Are a Natural Parent by the editors and readers of Natural Parents Network.
• The Top 10 Things Every Natural Household (with children) Should Have — Amanda at Let's Take the Metro shares a list of the most common natural products and remedies she uses for health and cleaning.
• Top 10 books for raising loving, spiritual children — In her 'food for the soul' post, Mrs Green from Little Green Blog shares her favourite spiritual books. No matter what religion you practise, there's something for everyone!
• Top 10 Things No One Told Me About Natural Parenting — Adrienne at Mommying My Way explains that the best things about natural parenting are things she never expected.
• Top 10 Flower Essences for Families — Kim of Nature Baby Bloggings lists her pick of the top ten flower essence which can help ease families through the ups and downs of life.
• My Top Ten Parenting Tools — Amyables at Toddler In Tow names the top ten tools that have been helpful to her while learning to parent respectfully and successfully.
• Ten Ways Families Can Enjoy Nature (for free!) — Spring is nearly in the air, and Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction is dreaming of the fun and frugal ways that her family is going to get out and enjoy nature this summer.
• 10 Reasons We Unschool — Patti at Jazzy Mama explains why unschooling is the right choice for her family.
• Must Read: Natural Parenting Top Ten — Amy at Anktangle wants you to do a little reading! She shares her top ten favorite books to help parents prepare for pregnancy, birth, and parenting.
• Top 10 Breastfeeding Misconceptions — Sheila at A Gift Universe examines ten reasons women give for why they didn't breastfeed as long as they wanted, and shows how these obstacles can be overcome.
• Ten Reasons to Plan a Home Birth — Since a home birth can be an incredibly empowering experience, Leslie at Lights and Letters outlines ten reasons why you should plan to have your baby at home.
• Top Ten Books for Birth, Breastfeeding and Parenting — Megan at Just Me(gan) writes about the ten books that have helped her the most in her natural parenting journey.
• A Top Ten Letter To Me... — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment writes herself a letter of reflections and bits of wisdom she would have liked to know as a new mama.
• Top Ten Mama Necessities Money Can't Buy — Buying baby gear is fun, but Emily at Crunchy(ish) Mama knows real parenting must-haves can't be bought in stores (or even on Amazon).
• Top 10 Books for a Natural Mum — Isil at Smiling like Sunshine talks about her Top 10 Books for a Natural Mum.
• Ten Great Spring Activities To Do With Preschoolers — Kellie at Our Mindful Life and her family have come up with a great list of activities to do together this spring.
• 10 Ways to Reuse Yogurt Containers — Acacia at Fingerpaint & Superheroes keeps the stacks of yogurt containers out of her recycling bin by reusing them in both practical and creative ways.
• Top Ten Ways To Have a Harmonious Home — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama shares her natural parenting-inspired methods for maintaining a harmonious daily life with her toddler.
• 10 Natural Baby Items I Love — Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama shares product ideas to support your natural parenting.
• The Pandas' Top Five Crunch-osophies — Top five crunchy philosophies, as employed at the Panda Residence by Ana at Pandamoly.
• Top 10 Reasons to Leave Your Son Intact — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children has shared 10 reasons why you should leave your newborn son intact.
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• 10 Most Popular Ways To Treat Cloth Diaper Stains — Chante at My Natural Motherhood Journey gives ten easy tips to make your diapers like new.
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• Top 10 Ways to Get Breastfeeding Off To a Good Start — Sheryl at Little Snowflakes shares 10 effective ways to ensure breastfeeding gets off to a good start.
• Top 10 Ways to Avoid a Time-Out — If you are uncomfortable using time-outs in an attempt to control your child's behavior, try one of these gentler alternatives. Dionna at Code Name: Mama shares her Top 10 Ways to Avoid a Time-Out.
• My Top 10 Parenting Scriptures — Dulce de leche is learning to integrate faith and parenting. Whether it is breastfeeding, babywearing, comforting her children, or gentle discipline, she finds that the Bible has beautiful passages to encourage her on her journey.
• Natural Cleaning Ideas - Top 10 — Laura at Laura's Blog lists the ways she keeps her house clean and clear of chemicals.
• My Top Ten (plus two) Life Altering and Growth Inspiring Books — A top ten list of books from MJ at Wander Wonder Discover that changed her life as an individual, a parent, and an earth dweller.
• Top 10 Ways to Use Natural Parenting for Children with Special Needs — Danielle at Mommy Makes Cents feeds the needs of her family and special needs child through the use of Natural Parenting.
• Ten Fundamentals — Seonaid at The Practical Dilettante gets philosophical with a list of the fundamentals that drive her natural parenting.
• 10 reasons why I chose breast over bottles — Becky at Old New Legacy writes a quick list of why she chose breast over bottles.
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• 10 differences between pregnancy and parenting in Japan and the US — Megan at Ichigo Means Strawberry gives her impressions about differences in pregnancy and parenting in Japan and the US.
• Natural Parenting Benny and Bex Style — Pecky at Benny and Bex explains why Natural Parenting principles work best for her boys.
• Top 10 Reasons to Co-Sleep — 10 practical, emotional, and completely selfish reasons to co-sleep and share a family bed from Lily, aka Witch Mom.
• My Top Ten New Mommy Moments — Melissa at The New Mommy Files recounts the ten most memorable moments of her daughter's first year.
• Top Ten Things Every Breastfeeding Mother Needs to Know — Kristen at Adventures in Mommyhood believes knowledge is power and wants all moms to be well informed.
• Top 10 Nursing Positions / Situations — Momma Jorje uses her 5½ years of nursing experience to share her Top 10 Nursing Positions/Situations. She includes some adorable photos of her youngest daughter at the breast.
• Ten Top Ways to Connect Kids with Nature — Terri from Child at the Nature Isle offers 10 ways to immerse ourselves in the natural world and develop a love affair with the Earth.
• Top 10 Slacker Ways to Natural Parent — Guavalicious is happy to show you how to parent naturally the slacker way.
• Simply what it looks like — Andrea!!! from Ella-Bean & Co. offers a glimpse into natural parenting through the eyes of mama and babe.
• Top Ten Reasons Why Natural Parenting Dads Are So Attractive — Nada at miniMOMist sure digs her husband, but it's not just his good looks -- it's his parenting!
• 10 Family Systems and Routines That Work for Us — See what routines, organizational systems, and parenting approaches work for Kristin at Intrepid Murmurings to help avoid conflict and maintain sanity in a family with three young children.
• Top 10 reasons to choose midwifery care — Lauren at Hobo Mama lists the features that drew her to midwives' care for pregnancy and birth.
• 10 Ways to Cloth Diaper on a Budget — Michelle at The Parent Vortex shares her best thrifty cloth diapering tips.
• Ten Reasons it Felt Sew Good To Make My Own Play Food — Brittany at Mama's Felt Cafe lists her 10 (OK, 11) favorite reasons to grab a needle and start sewing your own felt play toys.
• Top10 Ways to Spark Interest, Learn, and Have Fun With Everyday Tasks! — Bethy at Bounce Me to the Moon gives you her top 10 ways of incorporating fun and lessons into everyday tasks and chores.
• Postpartum Gift Ideas — Alicia at I Found My Feet suggests a top 10 list of gifts for mother's after giving birth.
• My Top Ten Shows Worthy Of Screen Time — Tree at Mom Grooves shares her top ten list of shows that she believes are positive, educational, kind, joyful, and a nice way to share some downtime with your children.
• The Top 10 Ways to Succeed as an Working Attachment Parent — That Mama Gretchen shares tried and true ways to succeed with attachment parenting even when working away from home during the day.
• Top Ten Books for Natural Parenting — Pregnancy, herbs, cooking, and healthcare the ten books Asha at Meta Mom the most.
• Preparing for a Hospital VBAC: My Top 10 — Thomasin at Propson Palingenesis shares 10 ways she's preparing for her upcoming hospital VBAC.
• Top Ten New Mom Survival Tools — Wolfmother shares her most beloved motherhood survival tools at Fabulous Mama Chronicles.
• Top 10 Montessori Principles for Natural Learning — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now gives her top 10 list of Montessori principles parents can use to encourage their children s natural learning.
• Going Granola — Tashmica from The Mother Flippin' Blog describes the 10 ways that natural parenting sneaked up on her. She never expected to go all granola on the world.
• Step Away From the Amazon List — Stefanie at Very, Very Fine wishes she hadn't bought so much useless stuff.

what to do now...?

I finally found out yesterday that my tailbone isn't broken—it's dislocated. Here's my x-ray image with the displacement (it's from the side):

The coccyx should be in line with the sacrum; mine was displaced to the rear from birthing Daniel's head.

I got a recommendation from my midwife, Regina, for a naturopathic doctor who does coccygeal adjustments to correct dislocation. She said that most women experience immediate relief from the adjustment, and any left-over soreness should then resolve. After the adjustment(s) I'm going to see the physical therapist who works with women who have pelvic injuries from birth.

I really hope this course of action makes everything feel better. Wish me luck!

Just seven weeks apart!

We went to visit the newly expanded Clear family today and got some photos of Daniel and Bennett together:

Cam with Bennett and Daniel

The moms swoop in to help Cam out

Rachel and Bennett with Daniel and me

Bennett's birth weight was 4lbs 13oz, and Daniel is somewhere around 11lbs now. It's crazy what a difference 7 weeks (and an especially tiny baby) makes in the size of the two boys. And to think that in a year, they should be about the same size!

beautiful new baby

My good friend Rachel gave birth to a beautiful (and tiny!) baby boy at home this morning! Many MANY congratulations, Rachel and Cam!

Looking forward to navigating this wild ride of parenthood together.

useless vestigial bone...

I injured my tailbone when I was pushing Daniel out. It's affecting my ability to get back to exercising. I'm thinking about having it removed, (even though that seems a little extreme) as this is the second time I've broken it (or whatever made that popping sound/feeling and now has resulted in a grinding sensation and quite a bit of pain). I want to be able to have more kids (if we want) without worrying about breaking this bone each time.

So far I've tried a homeopathic remedy, I've been taking Advil, getting acupuncture and chiropractic adjustments, getting kinesio taped (like Olympic volleyball player Kerry Walsh), and I had a massage. This Saturday I finally got an x-ray to see what exactly is going on with all those bones, so I'll find out what that showed tomorrow, hopefully. Next, I'm thinking about going to this physical therapist who was recommended to me who specializes in treating birth injuries and pelvic floor dysfunctions.

As Jaymz said early in this ordeal, "Everybody deserves to have good feelings in their butt!," and so far all I'm feeling is just a real-life, honest-to-God, huge pain in the ass. Until things start feeling much better back there, I am resigned to sleeping on my side, not taking long walks, and always sitting on my doughnut. [Dammit.]

fitness...fail?

I saw my midwife on Tuesday for my 6-week post-partum check-up. (Daniel weighed in at 10lbs 10oz. He is growing so fast!) Catherine asked a bunch of questions and checked me over, and cleared me for any and all physical activity. My diastasis recti (abdominal muscle separation) is healing well on its own, and she encouraged me to help it along with some crunches. The only thing that's still hurting all the time is my tailbone, and I continue to feel discouraged at that slow healing process. I promised my chiropractor when I went in on Tuesday afternoon that I was going to get back to exercising the next day.

Well so far, I haven't done a whole lot in the way of fitness activities. I haven't been able to go to Mama/Baby yoga yet because of my tailbone injury, and it really is hard to find the time to exercise when caring for an infant. I spend my "free time" catching up on household chores, napping with Daniel, or eating a much-needed meal. I've also been going to the breastfeeding groups (Mom's Group) at New Seasons the past two weeks, and I plan on keeping up with that.

I'm grateful that I'm breastfeeding for its effect on my body's recovery from pregnancy: I weighed myself for the first time since a couple days after I have birth and I've lost over 20lbs so far. Hopefully in the next few weeks I can figure out some kind of fitness routine that will work into my days at home with Daniel, and will help my body to re-gain some of its former level of fitness (or improve upon it!).

Until then, I'm trying to be very gentle with myself and my body. I'm not going to worry about fitting into pre-pregnancy clothes for a while, and I'm not going to make a habit of weighing myself, because that number doesn't really matter. I'm just going to work on being active and enjoying this precious time with my baby, and I think the rest of it will fall into place eventually.

What do you think? How long should a woman give herself post-baby to get back into shape? Should she even try? =)

The Birth of Daniel Olen, Part II

So, when we left off, my contractions had slowed down to about one an hour, Jaymz and I had gone out to dinner and come home, and I had taken a sleeping pill to help me get some rest.

Well, that night I went to sleep only to wake up again to the snapping sensation of my water breaking around 10:45. At first I ignored it, thinking maybe I dreamed the whole thing, but I eventually had to get up to pee and when I did, I felt the first gush of amniotic fluid. I grabbed some towels to put in the bed and I tried to go back to sleep since I anticipated a long active labor, but strong contractions started up a few minutes after I got back into bed. Very quickly, they were only 3 minutes apart lasting 1-2 minutes, and very intense.

I asked Jaymz to call the midwife and let her know that my water had broken and active labor had finally begun!

(This is the part where the timing of things gets fuzzy.)

One of my midwives, Regina, arrived about two hours after my water broke with her student/apprentice, Andrea, and I had my cervix checked. I was dilated to 4! This was such a relief after being at 2 for so many days, I think I was able to really surrender to the power of labor and let the contractions do their job. Shortly after my cervical check, Regina and Andrea started the process of inflating and filling the birthing tub in our spare bedroom, which took several hours.

Trying to labor on the birth ball around 2:40AM
so I could rest on the bed in between (this did
not last for long).

I labored mostly in the bathroom, leaning on the counter and rocking during contractions and sitting on the toilet for rest in between. Jaymz was supporting me with verbal encouragement and physical presence, although I hated being touched. I tried listening to the ocean waves mp3 that I had enjoyed so much during the last days of my pre-labor, but I found that it just irritated me. I knew then that I wouldn't be able to use my Hypnobabies tracks either, as I was at my limit for stimulation with all the physical sensations of birthing.

When the pool was ready, it took me several tries to walk from the bathroom to the bedroom where it was set up, because each time I would reach the tub a contraction would begin and I would go back to my familiar spot in the bathroom to ride it out. But once I finally got in the tub I had immense relief from the referred pain and pressure I was having in my back, hips, and thighs. I quickly figured out a new routine for being in the water: I would lean onto or over the side of the pool while holding on to Jaymz and vocalizing during a contraction, and when it ended I would roll over so I was semi-reclining in the water with my head on the side of the pool for my resting times. One of the wonderful moments during this part of the labor was when I realized that Regina, Andrea, and Jaymz were all vocalizing with me during contractions to keep the moans low and earthy.

Not long after I got in the water (less than an hour) I asked to have another cervical check, and I was dilated to 6. I don't know if it was the water or my determination not to be in labor for any longer or what, but about half an hour or so later I began to have the urge to push. I remember bearing down and grunting that first time, and then asking Regina if it was ok for me to start pushing. She told me to wait until I couldn't resist the urge any longer, and then to go with that urge. It was maybe 15 or 20 minutes later that I knew what she meant and I let my body take over and push.

Pushing was the most intense part of the whole birth, and I was definitely "roaring" at the end of each push. (I wondered later if the neighbors had heard me giving birth, since the window was wide open throughout.) I pushed in that same kneeling position I was in during contractions while I leaned over the side of the pool and clung to Jaymz by the waistband of his pants. At one point Catherine told me that I should try to hold my pushes a bit longer for them to be more effective. I remember asking her if I didn't hold them longer, would the baby still come out? She told me that it would, only it would take longer. That was all the motivation I needed to take her advice! I only pushed for 26 minutes before my sweet baby was born into Regina's hands, and she passed him through my legs from behind to me so I could lift him out of the water. I discovered that we had a son! He weighed 7 pounds 12 ounces, and was 20 inches long. He latched on to nurse for the first time while we were still attached to each other, even before the cord had stopped pulsing. (I found out later that he had been born with the cord wrapped loosely TWICE around his neck, but it didn't cause any heart rate issues during labor.) He was born at 6:07 am on the 31st, less than 7.5 hours after my water broke!

I birthed the placenta after the cord had gone completely flaccid and Catherine and Regina had determined that it had detached, and then I cut the cord. Jaymz, our (at that point still unnamed) baby boy and I got to know each other for a little while, and then Jaymz took our son to the bedroom while I was helped out of the tub and to the bed for cuddling and more skin-to-skin time. After a while, Regina brought us some food and Catherine did the newborn exam right on our bed. It took us until the next morning to settle on a name for our little boy, Daniel Olen.

I had quite a bit of dizziness and a couple of near-fainting episodes in the hours after the birth when I would try to stand up. I was probably pretty dehydrated because even though I was drinking as much as I wanted during labor, I was very nauseated and wasn't able to keep anything down for very long. One of the nurses who works with our midwives, Rachel, came over later in the day to start an IV and give me a bag of IV fluids. That helped a lot and I felt really good after that except for the sore tailbone, which I believe I broke during pushing (I felt and heard a pop).

The labor and birth was such an empowering experience—I feel fierce, and like I could do anything! I am so proud of what my body can do. I hope every birthing momma is able to feel the satisfaction and joy that I have when reflecting on my birthing time. I'm really glad I took prenatal yoga classes, as I believe that practice helped me so much to be able to stay in my body instead of my head and to do what I needed to do to birth my baby. I also felt very connected to my voice, and I vocalized a lot throughout the process. And even though I didn't use Hypnobabies during this part of my birthing time, I believe it was definitely a helpful tool to have during my pregnancy and early labor.

All the hard work of labor and birth was so worth it for this perfect little person! I feel so blessed to have been allowed to nurture this little soul on his journey in this big world.

The Birth of Daniel Olen, Part I

As Daniel is nearly a month old, I've decided it's high time I share his birth story here:

I went into pre-term labor in my 34th week and then for weeks after that I was having intermittent contractions, both painful and more pressure-like Brackston-Hicks-type contractions. On Friday afternoon, June 21st, they became more intense and more frequent, about every 3 minutes lasting 1.5-2 minutes. I called Jaymz while he was still at work to find out when he was coming home, and he told me later that he knew something was up by the tone of my voice.

When he got home I told him about my contractions, and we decided to walk to the grocery store to buy a few things. I'm pretty sure Jaymz was just trying to distract me with that trip, but it was nice to get out of the house for a while. I was needing to stop during my contractions and breathe while squatting or holding onto Jaymz and "slow dancing." I remember walking through the store leaning on the cart wondering what people were thinking of this woman, great with child, laboring in the grocery store. It took us about 45 minutes to walk less than half a mile home from the store because I needed to stop so frequently to focus on my contractions.

When we got home Jaymz called one of our midwives, Catherine, and let her know I was having contractions, and that we were hoping someone would come over and check my cervix to see what kind of progress I was making. The nurse Carissa and naturopathic student Kit came over and checked my cervix, and I was dilated to 1. We decided to send them home and call back when things seemed like they were picking up.

On Saturday at some point, they came over again and I was dilated to 1.5. My cervix was very stretchy and "agreeable," I was 75% effaced, and baby was low at -1 station. I was advised to get as much rest as I could and eat and drink plenty, and call back if my water broke or if things picked up some more.

On Sunday the 23rd, Jaymz's birthday, my acupuncturist came to our home and did a treatment to try to get the contractions to be stronger and closer together. We had another visit that night from Catherine and Kit, and they used the sarong I was wearing as a rebozo and they rocked me some with it to help with the low back pain I was having. Catherine told Jaymz he should stay home from work on Monday, and when she came over that evening I was dilated to 2, but things still hadn't kicked into high gear yet.

So, that's pretty much how it went for the rest of the week: Jaymz and I distracted ourselves by playing Super Mario Galaxy 2 (his birthday present) while I rocked on the birth ball through contractions, and we beat the game quickly. I ate and slept as much as I could (using Skullcap earlier in the week and then Ambien or Vistaril later in the week to help me sleep through the contractions at night). Jaymz drove me to acupuncture several times (he did have to talk me out of driving, silly me). I took an ever-changing cocktail of herbs, vitamins, supplements, and homeopathic remedies to try to help my body figure out if it was going to go into labor already or stop. They included GABA, 5-HTP, large amounts of Calcium/Magnesium in liquid and tablet forms, pulsatilla, black cohosh, and argentum nitricum. I had a lot of bloody show, particularly after any cervical checks, and lost my mucous plug sometime in the middle of the week. Jaymz went back to work on Tuesday, but he brought home a work laptop so he could work from home some and do half-days in the office. Jennifer came over on Wednesday and we all had sushi together while I breathed through my contractions and she cuddled baby Tomás. Rachel came over on Thursday evening for a while for a visit.

The last pregnant photo, between
contractions on labor day 7,
the day I wrote this.

We basically tried to keep our life going, even though it felt like everything was so up in the air. I kept wondering, Will I ever have this baby?!? I tried to keep myself centered by listening to Hypnobabies mp3 tracks as much as I could. I even bought the "Baby Come Out!" track and listened to that several times. I also really enjoyed listening to an ocean waves track, as it definitely seemed to mirror the sensations I was having. I rocked and bounced on the birth ball, and swayed leaning over the counter in the kitchen a lot, while saying "Open, open, open."

I felt very discouraged that my body didn't seem to be working the way it should, and I had quite a few cries about it. Jaymz and I came up with a plan about taking it one day at a time and re-assessing each day whether we wanted to go to the hospital to be induced. That never felt like the right decision, so each day I decided I could do one more day, and we just kept on keeping on. It was a bit of a trick to try to figure out each day if I was going to have enough energy to do another day of this, and then go into active labor (for who knows how long).

Catherine, Carissa, and Kit were all very encouraging, supportive, and extremely caring through the whole ordeal. I am particularly grateful for Catherine's patience with my body. There were several times when I wanted her to break my water and she considered it, but she wasn't willing to do it without me actively dilating. She talked me down several times, telling me how common this kind of lengthy early labor is. The thing is, usually people go to the hospital and intervene with this process, so it's not something we hear about very often. I really appreciated how she didn't want to mess with what my body was doing unless it was medically necessary (or unless I couldn't go on any longer).

I also had really great support on the phone and in person from Rachel, Jennifer, my sister Suzanne, and Jaymz of course. I got wonderful, encouraging emails from my therapist Debra, and my yoga instructor Camille, which I read over and over in my moments of self-doubt. It was really amazing to know how many people were praying for me and that the other mommas at yoga were all setting good intentions for me and my birthing time.

In all, I had 4 acupuncture treatments that week, and I tried everything I could think of to try and jump-start labor (I even tried castor oil belly rubs to no avail, although I stopped short of actually ingesting it.) On Saturday the 29th (yes, 8 days into this prodromal prelabor) I started a new homeopathic remedy to try to stop the contractions, so my body could have a bit of a rest before active labor, and it worked! By Sunday, they had slowed down to about 1 an hour, which was totally manageable and gave me a much-needed break.

Jaymz and I went out to dinner that night to satisfy a salad craving and ended up having a really great dinner date. When we got home I took a sleeping pill so I could get some sleep, but little did I know, that was not going to happen....

Stay tuned for Part II!

What are our bodies for, anyway?

This post is for all the amazing women in my life (and the people who love them):

I was partly inspired by The Shape of a Mother, a website dedicated to displaying pictures of real mothers' bodies, "so we can finally see what women really look like sans airbrushes and plastic surgery." Bonnie, of SOAM, hopes that we will "begin to cherish our new bodies which have done so much for the human race."

I was provoked by this recent post in particular, by a mother who is proud of her body and is challenging other women to love themselves just the way they are, and stop being so hateful. One of the commenters to her post says "I really get angry when I see people say things like I would never have had kids if I [had known] it would ruin my body". I talked about this statement at length with my mom the day after I read it, which happened to be just 3 days after I had given birth to my son. I looked down at my body, which had just completed the amazing job of growing an entire human from two single cells (not to mention the task of birthing that baby in our spare bedroom) and I couldn't imagine feeling like my body was ruined. Then I looked at my sweet sleeping baby, who I'm still falling in love with more and more each day. I couldn't imagine ever wishing I could go back in time and not have him, even if I did feel like my body was ruined.

Here's the thing about our bodies: whether or not we grow babies inside them, we will not stay young forever. Our bodies will change and sag and wrinkle, and there's not a whole lot we can do about it. Why spend our time and energy worrying and beating ourselves up over the natural process of living inside these bodies? It happens to everyone! And not one of us is getting out of this life—well—alive! So what are our bodies for? Are they primarily for display, as so many women seem to have been convinced? Are they for the pleasure of our lovers/partners/spouses?

I believe our bodies are meant to be used. Yes, we should take care of ourselves, nourish our bodies with rest and good food and physical activity, but why should we obsess over every little stretch mark and bit of fat or loose skin? My body was changed by pregnancy, and it continues to change each day as it returns to its non-pregnant state while making milk for my child. But that is not a bad thing! We can't look like we're 16 or 18 or 21 for our whole lives—and who would want to!? We are not stagnant and unchanging creatures; we are dynamic, multi-faceted, and ever-evolving. What a gift that is!

My body has done some really impressive things recently, and it will continue to impress me throughout my life. I believe it is more beautiful now that Daniel is in my life. Anything that can produce something as wonderful as a precious baby boy (or girl) deserves to be loved, respected, admired, cared for and—most of all—treated gently.

My child(ren) will know a woman who loves herself. This culture of self-hate, especially based on physical appearance, is simply not ok.

I'd like to finish with a video I've posted before: