Pseudo-Vlog: The Fourth Trimester (That Wouldn't End)

So how was your Mother's Day weekend?

Mine was... challenging.

Wearing my big kid in our woven WC ring sling.
He's crying, which is why I turned him away
from the camera. (This photo was taken
in chilly January, but you get the idea.)

It was one of those weekends where Jaymz and I had many moments of looking at each other and remembering (again) that in some ways, our sweet, nearly three-year-old Daniel is still in a much younger stage developmentally.

At some point this weekend—between Daniel's screaming, tears, lack of sleep, various potty issues, and intensive babywearing (preschooler-wearing?) on our parts—I remembered a video I recorded a while back of Jaymz wearing and bouncing Daniel on the ball while we chatted and joked about Daniel's (seemingly endless) fourth trimester. If you're not familiar with the concept of the fourth trimester, this article explains the theory which has been popularized by Dr. Harvey Karp, author of The Happiest Baby on the Block.

Essentially, the fourth trimester is the first three months after birth, when an infant's nervous system isn't yet mature enough to effectively and efficiently soothe himself without help from a caregiver (a co-regulator.) The baby is most comfortable in situations which mimic the environment in utero: being tightly swaddled (or worn in a supportive baby carrier), being rocked or bounced (which mimics the motion of mama walking), hearing the sound of someone else's heart beat, suckling, etc.

Back in November, I captured this video of Daniel requiring fourth-trimester-esque soothing, as has become a routine and expected part of our life. I asked Jaymz why we should record it (because it's such a frequent occurrence for us), and his answer started our conversation:

Here's a transcript of the video, if you need it (a couple parts are quiet):

Jaymz: This is our life.
Amy: Yeah.
J: We're documenting it for posterity.
A: That's true. ... So Jaymz and I were just talking about how, even though Daniel is two-and-a-half, he [still] seems to like being in a uterus. Look! Jaymz—
J: And since I don't have a uterus—
A: Jaymz has his own uterus!
J: Strap-on.
...
J: Daniel, how are you feeling? Very good?
A: What did he say? "Very good?"
J: Yeah. You doing OK in there?
A: A couple minutes ago, Jaymz asked Daniel if he wanted to [stop bouncing and] go downstairs, and he said no, he just wanted to bounce in Momma's room. So that's what they're doing.
J: Middle of November, 2012. ... Yeah...
A: The air was cold. But the uterus was warm. ...And bouncy.
J: The good news is, I'm getting my workout in for the day.
A: I wonder how many hours you've done that?
J: Oh... I could probably estimate.
A: You think?
J: Yeah, I mean like: rough, back-of-the-napkin sort of thing.
A: Back of the napkin? Is that a thing?
J: Yeah, that's a thing: back-of-the-napkin calculation? Never heard of that one?
A: No.
J: Just me?
A: Yeah. Just you. ... Did you hear of that, Daniel? ...Have you heard of that? No? OK.
J: No? You haven't heard of a back-of-the-napkin calculation? Well...
A: See? Daniel and I agree. And he's pretty— pretty worldly, so...
J: What, with all the uteri he's lived in!
A: Yes. Both of them.
...
A: How you feeling, Daniel? ... Very good!

Here's Jaymz's conservative, back-of-the-napkin (I'm still not sure he didn't make that up ;) estimation of time spent bouncing on the ball, from Daniel's birth through the time this video was recorded:

2,160,000 bounces

540 hours ≈ 22.5 solid days of bouncing

Wow.

I'm tempted to try to estimate the number of hours I have spent holding Daniel while he cried (screamed, thrashed—more often lately while kicking and/or hitting me), but... I think I'm better off solidly in the dark on that one.