Dear Daniel, On Your First Day of Preschool

All ready to go!

Today was your very first (half) day at preschool! This is the first time I've really left you anywhere for more than a couple of hours—and certainly not in the morning. It was also the first time I can remember being home alone for more than 20-30 (errand-running with Papa) minutes since you were born. It was a big day for me. 

Here's what I did without you today:

1. I cried.
2. I called my mother.
3. I cried a little more.
4. I cooked enchiladas for myself for breakfast.
5. I prepped tonight's dinner and put it in the crock pot.
6. I used the bathroom all by myself!
7. I answered a couple of emails, and then
8. I came to pick you up right on time. (OK, I might've even been just a tad early.)

If you're reading this, Dear Daniel, you probably know already: I'm not generally an on-time person; I'm a five-minutes-late person. However, when faced with the thought of you being there alone with no one to pick you up (and also the prospect of me being charged $1 per late minute) there was no way I wouldn't show up on time today. I just couldn't wait to see you again! After all, it was a big day for you, too.

Here's what (I gather) you did without me today:

Your very first school lunch.
(You love your new lunch tin!)

1. You met some new kids (though you're insisting that the only person there who is your friend is the teacher, Lori). 
2. You enjoyed playing dress-up, and insisted on wearing a fancy necklace and a pair of sunglasses for most of the morning.
3. You played outside in the sandbox and got some sand on your mittens.
4. You got too cold after a while because your mother didn't dress you warmly enough it was cold and rainy outside today (and you have approximately 0% body fat).
5. You ate raisin pancakes and a banana for snack, then
6. you hardly ate any of the lunch I packed for you.
7. You used the bathroom all by yourself! (OK, you might've had a little help from Lori getting up on the big toilet.)
8. You said, "Oh hey—it's Momma!" when you saw that I was there to pick you up.

About to leave home (you were not nearly
this alert when I picked you up).

This day was also big for another reason: a couple of years ago, Papa and I had no idea how we'd all be able to work through your sensory challenges enough for you to enjoy playing with other children (or to be in any kind of non-home school environment). Of course, the jury is still out on how you will adjust to this new place (and our new weekly routine which includes two mornings with your new best friend: our amazing nanny, Isaiah) but I couldn't be more thrilled that you walked into that class today and sailed through the morning. You're growing up—no one can stop you!—and I'm so very proud of you.

This day has been a long time coming... and it arrived in the blink of an eye. For the past few months, I could hardly wait for us to find a good fit in a preschool for you (you and I have both been ready for this for a while, in some ways). At the same time, this moment sneaked up on me and caught me off-guard, and I found myself missing you this morning more than I ever could've known I would.

I love you deep and wide, as far as you can see and beyond. I love you with my whole body, my whole self. I love you so much it hurts. I love you so much that I grin through my tears and I cry while I laugh; I simply can't hold it all in.

Happy Wednesday to you, Daniel. Happy first day of preschool.

Love,
Momma