This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have shared stories, tips, and struggles relating to their children's personal care choices.
Daniel has been struggling a lot lately with personal care activities (such as teeth brushing, hand washing, using the potty) because of the changes from our recent move. As a result, I wasn't feeling particularly insightful about this month's carnival topic! Thankfully, my friend Jorje of Momma Jorje offered to share a trick that's working for her and her daughter Sasha these days. Please read to the bottom to learn more about today's guest writer.
It wasn't until our recent move that I finally got a good, steady routine going with Sasha. We now brush teeth and hair as well as go potty before bed. The potty part was the hardest for me to remember! I just GO when I have to go.
I had night weaned her only recently, so she was no longer waking to nurse. She would wake to pee, though, or even wet the bed if I didn't make sure she went before going to sleep.
Not long after the move, I started limiting bed time nursing to only 10 minutes. This occasionally made for battles, too, as she is learning to fall asleep without a nipple in her mouth.
And that is the short story background to get to this: sometimes we have tooth-brushing battles. She loves to "brush" her own teeth, but would fight letting me brush them. I am sad to say that I have argued and yelled at her. The only thing that seemed to work was threatening to not let her nurse before bed. I even tucked her into bed a few times before getting her to let me brush her teeth! I felt awful about it, though. That is not the parent I want to be.
While chatting with some other Natural Parents Network volunteers online, one of these friends suggested a bedtime routine list. I took her brilliant idea and ran with it! I wanted to make the routine fun.
I started out by printing some images, but I'll get back to those. The fun crafty part started by making 3 checkmarks using 4 x 6 notecards. I colored them each a different color and set them aside.
I made a square template using notecards and traced them to make "blanks" on trimmed-down posterboard. I used regular white glue spread thin on the backs of my images to glue them next to the blanks.
Note that I looked for images to specifically assist in our struggles. The hair and teeth pictures are of a woman brushing the child's hair and teeth. I think it might be fun to use actual photographs from your own bedtime routine.
I stuck self-adhesive Velcro® to the back of each checkmark. If I were to improve on this project, I would have taken the Velcro® size into account and made the checkmarks fit better.
I lined up the checkmarks where I wanted them and set the other side of the adhesive Velcro® in place with them. Then I mounted (taped) the checklist on the bathroom door at Sasha's level.
I also mounted a pocket for the checkmarks. I used notecards again, but made the top piece slightly larger than the back piece to allow extra room for my checkmarks. This pocket is mounted out of reach.
That first night, she was so excited! Sasha was more than happy to do her bedtime routine and check each item off the list. I let her choose what order in which to do these things.
The next morning, she wanted to do the checklist again! That was great, as these same steps were great for a morning routine for us. (Our list only has brush teeth, brush hair, and go potty.) Later in the day she wanted to do the checklist every time she went potty! She at least wanted to place that checkmark every time.
The second day she was back to battling our bedtime routine. I am hopeful that the list will still be fun, but I think timing bedtime better might also help in our case.
How do you manage the bedtime routine in your house?
About today's guest writer, Jorje:
Momma Jorje is a slightly crunchy momma (and wife!) embracing her crunchiness and striving to be ever crunchier. She is passionate about breastfeeding, co-sleeping, baby signing, elimination communication and general attachment parenting. She is currently obsessed with hitting the road full time to unschool with her family.

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:
(This list will be live and updated by afternoon April 10 with all the carnival links.)
- Rub-a-Dub Co-Bathing in Our Tub — Bath time is more than soap and water! That Mama Gretchen shares how co-bathing with her toddler has opened up a world of cleanliness, learning, and bonding.
- This is How We Take a Bath — Shannon at GrowingSlower shares her special formulas for babywash and a happy bath time.
- How to Gently Trim Your Toddler's Nails — Shannon at The Artful Mama discusses some of the gentle suggestions she has received to help Little Man overcome his anxiety of having his nails trimmed, as well as how she copes with her need for his nails to be trimmed.
- Baby bath time and skin care — Ursula Ciller shares some simple and natural tips for bathing and skin care.
- Want Your Child To Love Getting Clean? Have Them Make Their Own Soaps, Shampoos, and Lotions! — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama shares her secret to empowering her daughter to "get clean." Together, Jennifer and her daughter make their own body washes and lotions which makes clean up time fun!
- Encouraging Self-care Through Awareness... and Fun — Amy at Presence Parenting shares some tips on how to transform self-care from a struggle into an opportunity -- for kids and adults.
- Caring for kids' curls — Lauren at Hobo Mama tells you how to clean, condition, comb, and style ringlets and waves on little heads.
- Playing in the Rain — Jorje of Momma Jorje loves how her family has come to make a family event of showering!
- The Cleansing Power of the Football — Rachel at Lautaret Bohemiet talks about her son's favorite bath buddy.
- Coconut Oil: Nature's "Baby Magic" — Megan at The Boho Mama has only one must-have baby care item in her cupboard: Coconut Oil!
- For Sensitive Kids, Less Is More — Kadiera at Our Little Acorn finds less cleaning is better.
- Bathtime: Just Another Chance to Play! — Lyndsay at Our Feminist {Play} School discusses the many reasons bath time is important - getting clean isn't one of them.
- Hygiene? What hygiene? — Sheila at A Gift Universe confesses some of her most embarrassing hygiene secrets.
- Confused About Chemicals? — Jaye Anne at Wide Awake, Half Asleep describes how to find out where the toxic chemicals are in your house and tips on alternatives.
- Clipping Those Talons — ANonyMous at Radical Ramblings describes the ways her daughter's tolerance for personal care has changed over time, especially when it comes to nail clipping.
- Sit Back, Relax and Unschool Hygiene — Instead of focusing on tactics of how to 'get' your child to focus on hygiene, Authentic Parenting explains how to help your child internalize hygienic standards.
- Help! My Tot will not let me brush her teeth! — Mudpiemama shares five positive ways to help toddlers brush teeth and sabotage the tooth fairy’s secret conspiracy.
- Self Care and the Spirited Child — Amy at Toddler In Tow shares how a balancing act between independence and connectedness helps her spirited child learn appropriate self-care.
- Hairbrushing is a Safety Issue — Dulce de leche guest posting at Natural Parents Network explains that although tangles are not a safety issue, self-confidence and body boundaries are.
- 15 Ideas to Prepare Toddlers and Preschoolers for Dental Procedures — Dionna at Code Name: Mama is sharing ideas on how to thoughtfully prepare little ones for dental visits (particularly those that require anesthesia).
- Holistic Care of your Toddler's Teeth — Erica at ChildOrganics tells a tale of her children's teeth issues and how she uses homeopathy and good nutrition to keep cavities at bay.
- Bath Time Bliss : Fuss-Free Bath Time for Toddlers — Christine at African Babies Don't Cry shares how she has made bath time completely fuss free for both her and her toddler.
- Homemade Natural Toothpaste — City Kids Homeschooling hosts a guest post on a homemade natural toothpaste recipe that kids will love!
- Bathing Strike Strategies — Crunchy Con Mommy offers her best tips for keeping your little ones clean when they refuse to bathe.
- Bodily Autonomy and Personal Hygeine — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children discusses the importance of supporting a child's bodily autonomy in the prevention of abuse.
- A Tub Full of Kiddos! — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment has kiddos who love the water, so bathtime is a favorite evening activity!
- The Trials of Tidying My Toddler — Adrienne at Mommying My Way shares the difficulties she has with getting her on-the-go son to be still enough to get clean.
- Wiped Clean — Laura at Pug in the Kitchen shares her recipe for homemade diaper wipe solution to clean those sweet little cloth diapered bottoms in her home!
- Snug in a Towel: Embracing Personal Grooming — Personal care is time consuming,especially with more than one child; but the mama at Our Muddy Boots is learning to embrace this fleeting and needful time.
- EC: All or Nothing? — Elimination Communication. Even the title sounds complicated and time consuming. It doesn't have to, if you adapt it to meet your family's needs, says Jennifer at True Confessions of a Real Mommy.
- Routine Battles — In a guest post at Anktangle, Jorje of Momma Jorje outlines a simple incentive to help inspire your little one to follow a routine.
- Redefining Beauty For My Daughter — Justine at The Lone Home Ranger relays her struggle to define her own femininity and how her preschooler unexpectedly taught her a lesson in true beauty.
- Rub-A-Dub-Dub, Three Girls In The Tub — Chrystal at Happy Mothering shares how she turns bath time into a few minutes of peace and quiet.
- Montessori-Inspired Activities for Care of Self — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now has a roundup of Montessori-inspired activities for care of self and ideas for home environments that encourage independence.
- 10 Gentle Tips for Little Ones Who Hate the Bath — Kim at life-is-learning gives 10 tips to get your little one into the bath and maybe even enjoying it.
- The Boy With The Long Hair — Liam at In The Now discusses his son's grooming choices.
- Personal Care in a Montessori Home — Melissa at Vibrant Wanderings shares a summary of the ways she has organized her family's home to make for easy, Montessori-inspired toddler personal care.
- Styling Kids — Kellie at Our Mindful Life is letting her kids decide what to look like.
- Clean Kids: Laundry and Bath Tips — Kimberly at Homeschooling in Nova Scotia shares tips on how to get your children helping with laundry plus recipes for laundry and liquid soap.
- How to Clean Your Children Naturally: A Tutorial — Erika at Cinco de Mommy shows you how to clean your children.
- Cleaniliness is next to... dirt — The lapse-prone eco-mom (Kenna at Million Tiny Things) sometimes forgets to bathe the kids. Except in the mud pit.
Such a fun idea!! So, how has it worked since then? I wonder, if the checklist gets boring, if you could add in something different for each day of the week, or something fun like a story, or maybe a "mystery" item that is different each night.
ReplyDeleteThe checklist has become a little more routine now (less battle), but she is still excited to place them. We do the checklist in the mornings sometimes and we definitely use it when we're getting ready to go out somewhere. We used to skip her hair all the time!
DeleteI like that our checklist is vague enough to use at different times of day, too.
That's a great idea. We had a similar routine going for chores and cleaning, using an iPad app. The kids loved checking off their items on the list, even if they didn't care so much for doing the work beforehand.
ReplyDeleteI always hear about such great apps you can get! Alas, I don't have a fancy phone. That sounds like it would also be really easy to edit as you change what you want on the list.
DeleteI like this checklist idea too. I'm filing it for when our toddler is of the "me do it" age. When our older daughter hit this point, what helped me was to "take turns" with her in other areas of daily life, such as playing with toys and buttering bread. I would say, "Okay, Mama's turn!" and she would let me brush her teeth because (I think) she was familiar with the concept of turn-taking. But our routine wasn't without it's battles too. Stick with it, the rhythm will eventually come in time. You're doing great!
ReplyDeleteWe do "Momma's Turn," but sometimes she battles that. The weird thing is that she isn't even in much of a "me do it!" stage. She seems to be skipping it and wanting us to do everything for her, except the stuff we feel the need to do. :-P
DeleteThe rhythm has definitely improved since the list went up, though!
What a great idea and a fantastic looking checklist! I know having a visual of what I've accomplished (and an idea of what is yet to be done) helps me, so I can see how it would be really beneficial for children, too. I have seen similar things done in the classroom, but never thought to bring it home. The velcro on the checkmarks is my favorite part!
ReplyDeleteShe loves putting the checkmarks on and then we look over it when we're finished and she says, "Check! Check! Check!" to show that we completed everything. :-)
DeleteThis is such a great idea! We have never implemented a bedtime. They tend to go to bed either when we do or when they fall asleep on the couch (we then move them to our bed). But, I am trying to get better about making sure they brush their teeth every night. And I need to be better about asking Kaylee if she needs to go potty if we're going to get her potty trained!
ReplyDeleteI was so bad about remembering to have her potty before bed! We haven't had wet sheets once since we started with this routine. Although, honestly, we've skipped twice. Once I was so tired I'd been falling asleep before she was tired. The other time... I knew she was really tired and I wasn't up for any argument that... okay, I was just lazy I guess. But we've been sticking to it pretty well otherwise.
DeleteThat is such a cool idea! I think any kid would get a kick out of those fun velcro checkmarks. I kept thinking we needed some sort of poster or bedtime routine book, but I never did get around to making one. I have to say, though, that having a routine, even a flexible one, has helped SO much in easing Mikko into bed and sleep (and in keeping my own stress levels down). I just wish he'd let me brush his teeth a bit more thoroughly…maybe that could go on our poster!
ReplyDeleteAs soon as I mention it, her #1 concern is "Mommy Milk." If I say anything about getting ready for bed, she flips out as if I'm going to put her to bed without it. That is probably my fault for the times I have threatened to do just that.
DeleteI would definitely recommend a photo of a MOMMY brushing the child's teeth if that is your struggle.
I also considered stickers for the boxes. 3 stickers per night and just fill the boxes up. I like that with the check marks it is very clear what has been done and what hasn't been done.
She loves the check marks! I'm glad I put them at the top of the door. The next tricky part is to take them off the poster soon after the checklist is complete - so it is ready for the next time.
I have grand plans for visual schedules like this...I just haven't managed to get around to doing them. You'd think that now that Acorn is working on learning to use PECS at school for communication, I'd get moving on it, but there are only so many hours in the day.
ReplyDeleteI have friends who have great success with even complicated bedtime lists - one took photos of her child doing each of the things in their routine, and that was an even bigger success, because he identifies with it so much.
I see you work as well, so I can definitely see how it would be hard to make time for a project like this! Perhaps if you make it a project you do together it would help?
DeleteAnd yeah, I considered getting pictures of us doing each thing, but... Downloading images off the internet was quicker.
Once I got the supplies together, the project didn't take long at all.
I love the velcro checkmarks! Even though I'm not a list person, my daughter always loved checklists (and still does as an adult). The velcro really adds to the appeal! :) Deb @ LivingMontessoriNow.com
ReplyDeleteSasha loves sticking those check marks on! Sometimes she sticks them off to the side a bit, peels them back off and says "it not working!" That is one of her catch phrases right now.
DeleteI need to remember the velcro because I'm thinking it could probably help with a lot of stuff. Actually, right now I've got a curtain velcro'd to the wall in our bedroom - as well as a pull shade velcro'd down so it doesn't hang into our bed. (We live in a travel trailer.)
I love your velco check marks and chart! I have thought about using similar for bath time and bed time, but I never took the time to make the charts.
ReplyDeleteWe did create a 'bed time' and a routine to go along with it. We have found timers really helpful. We started with just having a "reading timer" (because apparently all of the books that our daughter chose to read were "really, really short" and she'd request book after book after... well, you get the point and then be upset when we were on our last one). The timer fixed that. We just read until the timer beeps, finish that book, nurse and go to sleep. We found it pretty easy to then add to the routine. We even have a "tidy up timer" now that kicks off the bed time routine and leaves our living room floor visible for the next day :)
Great idea! Right now our routine includes ME cleaning up just before starting HER routine. :-P
DeleteA velcro checklist is a grand strategy. I can just imagine how this will add fun routine for little one when she's old enough. Thanks so much for sharing this awesome idea!
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