Baby Talks

Welcome to the September Carnival of Natural Parenting: We're all home schoolers

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have shared how their children learn at home as a natural part of their day. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

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I'm a talkative person. And I'm the mother of a three-month-old. Sometimes being the parent of a preverbal child is hard, and being without adult interaction throughout the day can wear me down.

Maybe it's partly due to my background as a nurse, but I can't help interacting with Daniel like I would any of the adults I've cared for who are unable to communicate with me verbally (and also who may or may not be able to understand what I'm saying). I tell him everything I'm doing to him; I explain why I'm leaving the room if I have to go away for a moment; I engage him verbally when he coos at me; and most importantly, I assume he can understand me.

I believe that even though perhaps my son doesn't understand the words that are coming out of my mouth, he does read my tone of voice, body language, and facial expressions. And I think there's a lot of understanding that happens between a mother and her child. I read his cues and respond to them in turn. If he's acting hungry, I will ask, "Are you hungry? Would you like to nurse?" and I offer my breast. (I'm also starting to introduce a handful of ASL signs to promote our future communication.)

It seems to me that he can also understand when I'm making a request of him. In his first week, we were having some trouble with getting a deep enough latch, and I would say, "Open, open, open!" to Daniel as he was trying to get latched on. More times than once, I would say, "Open, open, open!" and he would open his mouth very wide and before latching on, would turn his head slightly to the side and look up at me, as if to say, "Like this?" or "See, Momma, I'm doing it!"

I talk to my infant constantly, and I talk to him in regular adult language and complete sentences. Sometimes it feels a little silly, like when I'm wearing and talking to him while walking around the grocery store. But most of the time I just boldly and confidently have conversations with my kiddo. When describing every little thing I'm doing starts to feel tedious or artificial, I either make up a song about it or I sing a song that's relevant to what we're doing. For instance, I regularly sing "The Hokey-Pokey" during diaper and clothes-changing time, and I sing "Oh What a Beautiful Morning" when we're getting up for the day. (I know a lot of show tunes.)

I do it to promote his language development, but I also do it because I want to show him respect. I want him to know that he is important and valued and his young age doesn't make him inferior to others. I do it because it's what I would want someone to do for me if I wasn't able to communicate verbally.

I talk to Daniel about everything. I've explained crosswalk laws, how plants are pollinated by bees, homelessness, body image, friction, and weather. I discuss plants and gardening, going after your dreams, deodorant vs. antiperspirant, what we're having for dinner, interpersonal relationships, sex, drugs, (rock 'n' roll!). I've explained the importance of looking people in the eye when they speak to you—even if you don't think what they have to say is very important—and how it's never too late to learn something new. Sometimes I'm inspired to write about the advice I give him when we talk, and sometimes the conversations come and go just as any other interaction with a family member would.

Another goal with all this talking is that I'm trying to get used to talking to him about difficult things and make those things not taboo. I'm sure I will change my topics to be more age-appropriate as time goes on, but I will not use "baby talk" with him. If I need to use a big word, I will explain it like I do now.

I also talk to him so much and explain things in great detail because I want to promote a deep curiosity in him, and because it's always ok to ask questions—it's a great way to learn new things! I hope he'll never feel like he's stupid for asking questions, because they really only make us smarter.

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Visit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:(This list will be updated September 14 with all the carnival links.)

• A is for Apple {But right now it's more fun to pick apples!} — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment has a four-year-old who wisely knows she must forgo the worksheets for now and do things with her mother if she's going to learn.


• Baby Talks — Amy at Anktangle talks, talks, talks all day long to her preverbal baby, about simple things and complexities. (@anktangle)


• Baby University: Little Man, My Teacher — The ArtsyMama shares how her relaxed and patient "teaching" at home resulted in a confident little one when she returned to work.


• Creating a Sensory Garden — A sensory garden has given Marita at Stuff With Thing and her girls practice in math, science, budgeting, fine motor skills, and more. (@leechbabe)


• Despite the Big Yellow Bus — Seonaid at The Practical Dilettante has surprised many friends by sending her kids off to mainstream schooling — but their learning doesn't stop there. (@seonaid_lee)


• Down on the Farm — Megan at Purple Dancing Dhalias describes the multitude of skills her children learn by homeschooling on a farm.


• Early Childhood Education — First Do No Harm — Laura at Laura's Blog provides an incredible list of tips to facilitate learning at home.


• Education Starts At Home — Luschka at Diary of a First Child was happy to realize that learning at home isn't limited to older children. (@lvano)


• Every Day Is A School Day — Summer at Finding Summer lists the ways her family learns in this poem of a post. (@summerminor)


• hands on — the grumbles at grumbles and grunts read her little one Sherlock Holmes in utero. She'll continue to make learning fun now that he's on this side of the womb. (@thegrumbles)


• Have a Happy Heart — Erica at ChildOrganics has days of poop on the couch and oatmeal down the pants when sending her children to school seems like the perfect solution — until she regains her perspective. (@childorganics)


• Home Sweet Home Schooling — Check out CurlyMonkey's Blog for a photo montage of how her kids are learning anatomy, architecture, and more — all at home. (@curlymonkey_)


• Homeschooling — My Needs? — Do you homeschool for the kids, or do you do it for you? Read some thoughts from Home Grown Families. (@momtosprouts)


• Homeschooling: A Way of Life — Kimberly at Homeschooling in Nova Scotia has children who meet learning with enthusiasm and are becoming self-sufficient at a young age. (@UsborneBooksCB)


• How We Homeschooled — Deb at Living Montessori Now details in retrospect how her two lifelong learners spent their homeschooling years. (@DebChitwood)


• Learning at Home With a Preschooler and Toddler — Need some inspiration? Michelle at The Parent Vortex shares her tips and resources for lifelong learning. (@TheParentVortex)


• Learning at Home: Are We All Homeschoolers? — Kristin at Intrepid Murmurings incorporates homeschool ideas even though she plans to send her kids to school. (@sunfrog)


• Learning From Life — Mamapoekie at Authentic Parenting doesn't even have to think about how her daughter learns. She just does it. (@mamapoekie)


• Learning Through Play — What better way to learn at home than through play? Dionna at Code Name: Mama lists the many ways children learn through play, whether they know it or not. (@CodeNameMama)


• Learning With Savoury Pikelets — Deb at Science@Home breaks down how cooking facilitates learning. (@ScienceMum)


• Lessons Learned by Bowling (Yes, Bowling) — What life lessons can you learn from bowling? Ask Jessica from This is Worthwhile. (@tisworthwhile)


• Life is learning, learning is life. — Kristin, guest posting at Janet Fraser — Where birth and feminism intersect, defends the truth that children are hardwired to learn. (@JoyousLearning)


• life learning... — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children found that structured schooling is about teaching, whereas unschooling is about learning, and her family resonated with the latter.


• Live to Learn Together — RealMommy at True Confessions of a Real Mommy knows that children learn in all different styles, so only one-on-one attention can do the trick.


• Natural Parenting and the Working Mom — Jenny from Chronicles of a Nursing Mom shares how natural parenting in the Philippines — and learning at home — includes "yayas" (nannies). (@crazydigger)


• Not Back to School: How We Learn at Home — Denise at This Holistic Life has learned to describe what unschooling is, rather than what it isn't.


• Our Learning Curve — Andrea of Ella-Bean & Co. has a special bookshelf set up where her daughter can explore the world on her own terms.


• School at Our House — Where is learning happening at Kellie at Our Mindful Life's house? It is pouring all over the floor. It is digging down deep in the earth. It is everywhere!


• Schooling Three Little Piggies — Despite the mess and the chaos, Melissa at White Noise lets her children into the kitchen.


• SuperMom versus The Comic Books of Doom! — Mommy Soup at Cream of Mommy Soup realized that if "getting the kids to read" was the goal, it didn't matter what the kids read. (@mommysoup)


• The joy of learning at home — Heather at Life, Gluten Free has a daughter who sees magic in the stars and understands the honeybees. (@lifeglutenfree)


• those who can't teach — Do you need a superiority complex to homeschool? Stefanie at Very, Very Fine wonders.


• Too lazy to unschool? — If unschoolers aren't lazy, Lauren at Hobo Mama wonders if she's too lazy to live her dream of free-form education. (@Hobo_Mama)


• Unschooling the School of Me — Rachael at The Variegated Life considers what she's teaching her son about work as a work-at-home mother — and the extreme work ethic she doesn't want him to emulate. (@RachaelNevins)


• What We Do All Day — Alison at BluebirdMama discovered that it's easier than she thought it would be to quantify how her child learns all day. (@childbearing)


• Who taught that kid ‘exoskeleton’? — Nervous about how you will facilitate learning at home? Don't be - they will absorb things on their own! Joni Rae at Tales of a Kitchen Witch Momma shares her story. (@kitchenwitch)