Thursday, August 26, 2010

My village

I'm feeling grateful today for all the supportive people in my life, from my husband and other family members to the parents and facilitators at the new parents' support group, to my fellow new mama friends...you all are wonderful.

We've been having a lot of difficulty with sleep lately, and the last few days have been particularly challenging. I've found myself more than once at the end of my rope, trying desperately to figure out what to do next. I appreciate all the gentle guidance and loving support I've received about this issue of sleep. I think most of us know how hard it is to function on little or no sleep, and Daniel and I are not immune to that. Yesterday I was encouraged to "go back to bed," meaning revert to our newborn routine, which consisted of lots of time in bed together nursing and cuddling and napping as much as possible. I also tried swaddling Daniel again, something that he hadn't enjoyed in the past, and it's working well (at least for now).

In many areas of my life, I'm coming to the realization that independence is overrated. We all have to lean on each other at one time or another. I'd argue that more often that not, it's the smarter choice to do things with help rather than without it. Being Super-Mom isn't anything I ever wanted to strive for—too much pressure to be perpetually awesome. But I think it's only natural that I've been influenced by my culture, by my environment. So, I hesitate to ask for help sometimes because, What will they think of me? Does that make me weak? What if I look like a bad mom? Maybe if I just try harder....

I think something we tend to forget in Western societies (at least the one I live in) is that we don't have to do it alone. In fact, I believe (and maybe there's some research out there to support my claim) that we're not meant to do this parenting thing alone. We're social creatures, and as they say, It takes a village.

Thank you, my village. It's nice to know we're all in this together.

4 comments:

  1. Yes. I forget that. Thanks for the reminder.

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  2. "So, I hesitate to ask for help sometimes because, What will they think of me? Does that make me weak? What if I look like a bad mom? Maybe if I just try harder...."
    I felt the exact same way with my new baby. And it took me a long time to learn to ask for help and I resented my husband for not knowing that I needed help..lol. Keep asking for help - it's better than feeling that way and being exhausted. :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Girl, you are rocking motherhood. You really are. I see it for myself day after day. And I love that you are authentic enough to share your struggles (and joys and everything else) with me.

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  4. I wish my village was closer to your village! I want to do more to help. Come see us soon.

    ReplyDelete

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