you can't know until you know...

Early in my pregnancy, when my nausea was just starting to go away, I had a conversation with a woman who has never given birth about wanting to go into labor. She talked about experiencing several friends' pregnancies, and noticing when each of them was "done" being pregnant and ready to have the baby out. She expressed to me that it was a feeling she couldn't understand: wanting to go through all that physical discomfort instead of staying pregnant, like labor was the "lesser of two evils."

At the time, I had to agree with her. I looked down at my growing belly and felt content that my baby was safe and secure inside me. I enjoyed knowing that I was providing everything he or she needs to grow into a whole human being, capable of facing the outside world. I felt comfort in the fact that I was protecting my child from any harm that might come. Most of all, I just couldn't understand that feeling of wanting to be so very separate from this tiny person who I know so closely.

However, I now know very acutely that need to get the baby out of me. It must be an evolutionary blessing: that there comes a point when we want and need to birth our babies because having them inside is no longer the best thing for everyone involved. If that urge never came, I'm sure I'd have a tougher time finding the strength and stamina for all that hard work.

I have felt "done" being pregnant for many weeks now, but for reasons I'm not ready to talk about here, right now I am so ready to experience this baby's birth. Now, baby and I just have to get on the same page about this so we can get things going.

It's time.
I'm ready.
Let's do this.