It was several weeks ago that the little plus sign showed up on the pregnancy test. I was so excited that I woke your Dad up early so we could celebrate. Since then, I've felt pregnant in the sense that my body doesn't really feel like it's my own anymore. I've felt pregnant in that I feel sick all the time, but I know it's because you're in there growing bigger every day.
I can't help but think of you as quite like a parasite, albeit the best kind ever! You make me sick, you eat my food, and you keep me up at night. You've interrupted many of my bodily processes that were working just fine thank-you-very-much, and you send me to the bathroom countless times per day. For the past couple of weeks, you've taken to waking me up right around 3:30 every morning and demanding that I Eat a bowl of Cheerios--right now or I will not let you sleep! ...and you mean it.
Yesterday, the way I think about you changed when we were able to hear your tiny heartbeat for the first time. It didn't sound like I thought it would--like it will when you're bigger--but it was tiny and strong and fast. Your Dad was right there with us, holding his breath and listening. And then the most amazing thing happened: I took a breath in, and your heart beat faster; I let it out, and your heart slowed down a bit, just like mine. At that moment, I immediately felt less like That Cranky Lady With The Tape Worm, and much more like Your Momma, The Best Host Organism You Could Ever Have!
We invited your little soul to join our family, and now I am officially welcoming you to my body. I'll do my best to help you grow into whomever you're meant to become, during this time when you're inside me, and then when you are outside, until you don't need me anymore.